


It takes two to tango, but three make a party.

by Werepirechick



Series: Alternate Dimension B-9374, or , The Age Swap Remix [3]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, Horny Teenagers, IT'S BEAUTIFUL, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Slow Build, age swap remix au, april is so thirsty for both of them, casey's sexuality is an audible shrug and no one can tell me otherwise, don suffers from repression as well as bad self esteem, lots of internal screaming for everyone, mike suffers deeply during and after this mess, people are unfairly attractive, they're all oblivious to each other for the longest time, thirst, thirst everywhere, watch them all struggle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8003131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey Don?”</p><p>“Yeah Mike?”</p><p>“If you and your partners could stop making out on every surface possible, that’d be great, thanks.”</p><p>(How April, Casey, and Don got together; and how they each suffered the whole journey there.)</p><p>**Winner of FIRST PLACE in the Universal TMNT Erotica Fanfic Competition 2016 for HOTTEST GROUP**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally doing it.  
> I'm writing the ot3 get together fic.  
> This is goofy and silly and is made of mostly hormonal teenage thoughts.  
> It'll probably be about four chapters, including this one.  
> Short, sweet, and funny as hell.  
> Enjoy!

 

 

It’d been around two months into April becoming a part of the Hamato clan’s life, that she’d realized that Don was maybe-kinda-sorta relatively to very attractive.

It took her by surprise, in the middle of a training session that she’d walked in on. Early evening, the brothers had been just warming up for the night; stretches and tai-chi. Raph and Leo were still in the middle of lunges, their wiry child muscles warming up for proper training, while their older siblings had already begun their tai-chi.

Don was closest to the door when April had entered, and she was given full view of his arm muscles flexing and contracting as he smoothly twisted through a slow motion step.

Quite unintentionally, she’d kept watching Don’s steady movements, captured by his fluid grace and ease in technique. Each step was measured, not a single one out of sync with Mike beside him.

She’d seen him fight multiple times, but in the heat of battle, April hadn’t ever gotten the chance to really take in the sculpted physique and strange… _allure_ Don had.

Then he’d caught sight of her, and Don had shot April a quirky smile, complete with his small tooth gap and keen red eyes.

Without her permission, April’s heart had jumped slightly.

She averted her eyes from Don, and tried to push down the new tempo in her chest.

She wasn’t looking for a relationship; she was looking for her dad, and these… people? Mutants?? Either or, they were the ones who were going to help her find him.

The ‘him’ being her dad, not the ‘him’ who she’d date.

April shook her head, because defending herself against herself inside her own head was ridiculous, even considering how her life had recently gone.

April kept her eyes away from Don the rest of the training session, waiting impatiently for the discussion of Kraang activities to begin.

 

 

 

Not many months later, after a number of crisis’s, invasions, and emotional betrayals, April sat in Don’s lab and quietly had a crisis of her own.

The mutant turtle was busy explaining a new invention to Mike and their younger brothers, one that would help them break into a Kraang hideout and retrieve more mutagen. Don had been working tirelessly to create a retro-mutagen for April’s father, and he needed to restock to continue the process.

April had been hurt, deeply, deeply hurt that the four brothers had mutated her father. But… they’d made up for it, not just with Don’s efforts, but also by stepping in to defend her against Karai’s attacks; even after she’d cut them out of her life. They genuinely cared for her, and wanted to make up for their wrong doing. So April had accepted their apologies, and that was how she’d ended up spending her evenings in the sewers once again.

And if April was honest with herself, and she typically was, April had missed the four brothers. Their quirks and abnormalities and all around strangeness; normal life just hadn’t held as much appeal anymore, not after she’d spent so much time with four mutants.

And maybe she’d missed Don a little more than the rest of his siblings. His shy smile, his snarky quips, how he was always there for her… clever and kind, able to make her laugh even at her worst moments…

This was why she was having a crisis.

She liked Don; she really did, as a friend, as a comrade in arms. They’d been through so much together; she could scarcely imagine her life without him. He was her best friend, mutant turtle or not.

But he was also… weirdly attractive.

April bit her lip, tapping her nails on her knee as she darted glances at Don. Time away from him specifically had given her a bit more perspective on his attractiveness, as strange as that sounded even in her head.

Don was tall, and strong, and very intelligent. He was sweet, and kind, and once she got past the turtle-ness, quite easy on the eyes.

Or maybe it was _because_ he was a turtle.

 A very well exercised martial artist turtle, who didn’t have an ounce of fat on his body.

Where was the line for bestiality exactly, if the creature in question was fully sentient and partially human?

Don stepped out from behind his younger siblings, who’d been blocking her view of his lower half, and April got a very good look at how muscular Don’s thighs were, how toned his calves were, and etc.

April put her head down on the lab table and sighed deeply.

She was a lot further gone than she’d remembered.

 

 

 

Then Casey Jones had happened, in a number of ways.

Who knew a meat head hockey player, from the wrong side of their school and neighborhood, would catch her attention; with bad pickup lines and too much cologne no less.

But Casey was funny and smart in his own way, and April wouldn’t deny the fact that while Casey was thin as a rail in most places; he was pure stretched out muscle. She would know, he’d taken off his shirt during a game of floor hockey during gym class; he’d gotten told off for it, and had to put it back on right away, but not before April and majority of the class had gotten a good look at the toned physique Casey hid under too large hoodies.

Hockey players it seemed, even skinny teenage ones, didn’t lack anything in the fitness department.

And then Casey had gotten mixed up in April’s other life, the one with mutants and ninjutsu and alien terrorists.

And he’d stayed in that life, stubborn and un-budging on his involvement in things.

Raph and Leo thought he was the best thing to have happened since pizza; and Mike obviously enjoyed having another teenage boy to hang out with.

Don seemed less than impressed, though April wasn’t sure why he wasn’t ecstatic to have someone new to spend time with; especially since Casey had the tendency to build dangerous things out of trash like Don did.

They fought like cats and dogs and April suffered through each altercation, for a couple reasons.

 

 

 

April pinched the bridge of her nose, and wondered exactly why her life had led her to this moment.

Someone above obviously wanted her to suffer.

Casey had taken five steps into the lair and promptly stripped down to his bare skin, dropping his hoodie and t-shirt on the couch along with his vigilante gear. He’d started sweating ten minutes ago and kept wiping it away with his bare hands.

Don was wandering around mumbling to himself, a dripping wet towel across his neck that was steadily leaving streak marks through the oil and grime on him. He was chewing his lip, absently working over it as he went over the manual in his hands.

The heater of the lair had malfunctioned fantastically, and the whole space had been transformed into a sauna; the only cool places left were in the pool and the tunnels outside.

Now April was trapped in a too hot space, with two individuals she may or may not extremely hot _for_ , and no hope of escape any time soon.

April had already dropped her t-shirt a half hour ago, stripping down to her under shirt out of self-preservation; mild exposure of skin or heat stroke, and she’d chosen mildly embarrassing exposure. She was sitting on the couch, trying to not look as sticky and gross as she felt. She was also unwillingly watching both Casey and Don’s every movement.

Casey was leaning into Don’s space, trying to take a peek at the manual as well. Casey’s whole back was exposed, and there was a fair amount of flush over his pale skin; highlighting scars that dotted up and down his back. Don fumbled with the book in his hands as Casey leaned a bit too close, and he started berating the human for getting in his personal bubble again; though April ignored the usual argument, distracted severely by messy grease on Don’s arms, it was basically a contour of his muscles there.

Someone really, really wanted April to suffer.

April closed her eyes and sighed through her nose, of course the heater broke today, of course it was also the day Casey stopped by, _of course she’d be here to see the both of them sweat streaked and grimy._

“You okay April? Too hot for you?” Mike’s concerned voice asked from somewhere nearby. “We could get you a glass of water if you’re thirsty.”

April was thirsty alright, just not the way Mike thought.

“That’d be great, thanks Mike,” April replied half-heartedly.

She really needed to cool off.

“Fuck me,” April muttered to herself, not entirely sure how she meant that statement.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey Jones had always been the guy to go looking for trouble.
> 
> Well, he’d found it. Just… not in the way he’d expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came back, and with more thirsty teenagers.
> 
> A lot of response for this, considering the obscurity of my AU. I hope you're all enjoying this as much as I am, I spent my whole work shift thinking up this chapter, as well as the rest following it.
> 
> Oh, and I'm extending the fic to five chapters. Enjoy!

 

Somewhere between the fourth or fifth time Casey saw Don brutally tear a robotic ninja apart, Casey realized he might be in a bit of trouble.

April was obviously interested in the guy, (mutant?), for some reason or other, and while Casey knew he could through down better than almost anyone, it was hard to compete against someone who not only had a life time of martial arts training, but could lift a couple hundred pounds for fun.

Casey had found out the hard way that the turtles were super strong, pushing Raph and Leo a little too far with teasing. All in good nature of course, he had a little sister himself, it was just big bro code to bother younger siblings; but the subject them being kids was apparently a sore one, especially in comparison to their older brothers.

Raph had snapped, in terms of both his temper, and Casey’s hockey stick. Two hands, no one else’s help. Raph was just under eleven and he’d snapped Casey’s reinforced stick like nothing.

Casey simultaneously wanted, and never wanted, to see just what Mike and Don were capable of with raw strength alone.

Casey admired a man with that sort of strength; it was part of why he’d started playing hockey to begin with. But Don’s incredibly annoying nerdy side kind of cancelled out any admiration Casey might’ve had.

The guy just wouldn’t shut it with the mathematical-who-gives-a-shit and sciencey-whatevers; Don was cool for about ten seconds, ninja skills out the wazoo and all, and then he’d opened his mouth and ruined it.

Don was also a cock-blocking asshole.

It was downright _rude_ to interfere with another man’s pursuit of a girl, especially when the guy interfering wasn’t even technically a _man._

Casey had dibs, he’d totally called dibs. It didn’t matter that April had apparently been hanging with the admittedly extremely cool ninja clan from the sewers for most of the year, _Casey had dibs alright?_

April was a sick chick to hang around with; he wasn’t going to lose his chances with her that easily. Not to some nerd who looked like he’d stepped out of a b-rated horror movie.

A b-rated nerd who could bench press Casey without breaking a sweat, and probably kick Casey’s ass all the way to next week if he wasn’t careful; a nerd who also had a rock solid friendship with April already, when Casey had only just gotten onto the scene.

A nerd that April shot glances at way too often, and made her bite her lip nervously. A nerd that shot the exact same kind of glances right back at April when she wasn’t looking.

So competition was a little tougher than normal, sure, but he was Casey Jones; he could beat Don out for April’s attention easily. Probably. Maybe.

Yeah, okay, Casey was in a bit of trouble.

 

 

 

That trouble doubled when… _that_ happened.

So maybe Casey had been paying more attention to April’s swift moving form during the fight, than on the actual fight itself. Who could blame him, April was one fine lady, agile and fierce with that bladed fan of her’s; cutting down Kraang droids like a pro, dancing away before any enemy fire could even get close to her.

They’d gotten a tip off from one of the turtles’ allies, a guy named Murawami or something, that a small time street gang was making a deal for Kraang weapons in exchange for territory usage. They’d rolled in weapons already drawn, and shut the deal down before it could even begin.

Barely a workout, after dealing with the Footclan and actual Kraang bases; there were only ten Kraang at the deal, and maybe seven human gangsters. Plenty of breathing space for Casey to admire April’s martial arts skills.

Man, whatever kind of training master Splinter had been doing with her, it’d given April _very_ nice legs. Her cutely flushed cheeks, gritted teeth and lips in a snarl, hair slightly mussed from the fighting… Casey could watch her all night and not get bored, unless you counted not being allowed to compliment and maybe touch that choice piece of-

“Watch out, _he’s got a gun!!”_ Leo yelped somewhere across the room, gun fire following his shout. Some idiot thug had brought a human firearm, of course; somehow, despite being a conquering alien race, the Kraang managed to create weapons less destructive than human ones.

A bullet hole was a lot harder to fix than a laser burn it turned out.

The bullets went wide, ricocheting through hanging engines on the ceiling of the warehouse garage they were in. Casey got distracted by a Kraang droid, missing half its fake face, trying to grab Casey by the neck. He missed the snapping of chains above his head, and only heard April’s scream for him to run just as he looked upwards; a few hundred pounds worth of solid metal falling directly above Casey.

Casey had barely a split second to realise there was no way he’d be able to move soon enough, not with the Kraang droid holding onto him still.

Then, a freight train slammed into Casey’s side, throwing him out of the way; leaving the car engine to flatten the Kraang inside a crater.

Don crouched over Casey, the mutant turtle huffing for breath. Casey was alive only because Don had tackled him out of harm’s way. Don had saved Casey’s life.

Don was streaked with battle grime, Kraang blood and whatever oiled the gears of their metallic suits; his eyes were whitened over with his third eyelids, and his expression was in that battle set he always got. Grave, serious, intimidatingly powerful; that’s how the guy always looked during a fight. Unmovable, unshakable.

Don’s heavy, unrelenting weight was on Casey’s legs and torso; even if Casey tried, he felt like he probably wouldn’t be able to move unless Don let him. Don’s arm was pressed across Casey’s chest, up near his neckline; holding Casey down against the concrete of the warehouse. Casey swallowed, nervous for some reason.

“You okay?” Don asked, panting still; his hot breath flowing over Casey’s exposed neck skin, making it prickle. “That was really close, even for you.”

“Uhhhh…” Casey replied, distracted by whatever was happening in his stomach at that moment.

Don glared at him, apparently unsatisfied with that answer, and pushed off of Casey; standing back up and twirling his staff. “Get up idiot; we don’t have time for this. Police will be here any minute now.”

Don then extended the blade of his bo, and stabbed backwards at the ambushing Kraang droid that’d tried to attack him from behind; all without even glancing at the oncoming alien robot. It fell dead onto the concrete, something oozing from its underside where Don had stabbed.

Don retracted the nagin-what-a-what knife into his staff, cracked his neck both ways, and then vanished back into the fray.

Casey lay on the cold stone a moment longer, thinking something along the lines of _‘What the fucking hell had_ that _been?’_

Casey sat up, and glanced around the room for wherever Don had gotten to. The mutant was currently knocking out the stupid thug who’d brought the live firearm, by twisting the guy’s neck so he passed out via a nerve attack.

Had Don’s arms always been that muscular? And since when did wide planes of exposed scales on him _bother_ Casey for some reason?

Fucking _what._

Then, because Casey still hadn’t gotten up off the floor, he was caught across the back of his skull by a stray swing of Raph’s tonfa, knocking stars into his vision.

 

 

 

Alright, so Casey could maybe see why April was interested in the guy. Brains _and_ brawn were a pretty good package, even if the outside of that package was wrapped in green scales.

Don was still a complete asshat though.

 

 

 

Except he also wasn’t.

An unlucky Friday evening, Casey had slept over his set limit for his afternoon nap, and woken up to find his dad already getting smashed in the living room.

Casey knew better by then, to not pick a fight with his dad when he got like that. Casey just. Couldn’t let it go that time round, not when his dad had promised he’d shape up, that he’d stop it with the heavy drinking.

Casey’s reward for trying to look out for their family had been a couple gut punches and a split lip.

He’d stormed out, wheezing for breath and furious with his dad, and gone to the most distracting place he could think of. If he went back, he’d actually take a swing at his old man this time, and that wouldn’t work out for anyone.

There was no point in confronting him like this anyways; Casey’s dad never remembered these nights. At least Noelle was at a friend’s house for a sleepover; Casey could fuck off for the night and not worry about his sister’s safety.

When Casey had shuffled into the lair, he’d realized he might be interrupting the Hamatos, might not be welcome in their home at that moment. Leo and Raph were setting up the DVD player, and Mike was humming away in the kitchen, preparing movie snacks with their father.

Don had been sitting on the couch, fiddling with something on his laptop, and he’d been the first person to spot Casey.

Casey hunched on himself, and felt out of place in the warm familial scene; bruises on his stomach and stinging lip feeling a lot more obvious. He should’ve just gone walking.

Casey could feel Don’s eyes examining the split of his lip, his lack of vigilante gear, and over all rumpled appearance. Casey waited for questions, for accusations, but-

“…you wanna stick around? We’re watching a _Mythbusters_ marathon,” Don offered, closing his laptop and setting it aside. “We’ve got plenty of popcorn and skittles for everyone.”

Casey blinked, and then hesitantly nodded. Don moved over so Casey could get a seat near the center of the TV, and Casey took that seat.

Don didn’t snap or snark at Casey the whole televised marathon, just passed him the skittles when Casey asked, and shared a portion of popcorn between the both of them.

Don didn’t ask questions, and Casey had been grateful for that.

 

 

 

Turned out, when he wasn’t talking like a living science encyclopedia, Don was a pretty cool guy to hang around with.

It helped that the mutant enjoyed making mildly to highly dangerous inventions, to use and abuse against their enemies.

Casey could definitely tolerate a guy that also appreciated a good explosion.

Casey liked Don best when he cackling away, unleashing whatever fresh terror he’d created on unsuspecting Kraang droids or Footbots. Don was snarky and smart alecky and condescending at times, but that side of him was a hell of a lot funnier when it was aimed at someone other than Casey.

Maybe there _was_ something to April’s interest in Don, beyond just his strength and smarts.

 

 

 

Then New York was invaded, and they lost everything; there was no time for anything like the consideration of feelings during that.

Casey’s headspace was taken up by thoughts of his dad, his sister. Of master Splinter and Mr. O’Neil… of Leo and Mike heavily injured, and laying in the back of the party wagon. Mike’s leg was fucked to hell and back, and Leo… Leo wasn’t getting back up any time soon.

Shredder was a sick fuck, toying with Leo until Mike had found them. Leo was only _eleven,_ and Shredder had torn him to pieces anyways.

Idiot, Leo was a self-sacrificing _idiot_. He’d promised to meet up with them again at the O’Neil’s apartment, disappearing into the tunnels to separate the Kraang forces so they could stand a chance of winning.

Casey’s already iron grip on the steering wheel tightened, palms burning from the pressure. If only he’d been the one to lead the robot fucks away from the group, if only someone other than the _fucking preteen_ had been the bait _._

Leo was a trained ninja though, young as he was, and they’d trusted him to escape. That his masterful skills of disappearing and escape would leave the Kraang in the dust, and he’d arrive unharmed.

They were a bunch of mooks for believing that, their luck wouldn’t let anything be that easy.

Casey glanced up into the review mirror, checking on the four brothers in the back.

Don was hunched over Leo, patching up his kid brother with what medical supplies they had. Mike was leaned up against the side, leg splinted by Don’s bo staff and Raph curled against his side.

Don met Casey’s eyes in the mirror for a brief second; Don’s eyes were dull red, and had a clear ring of exhaustion in them. Don looked about as bad as Casey felt.

Casey turned his gaze back to the road in front of them, shifting gears and switching to the next turn off lane. Not much longer, they’d be at April’s farm house in another hour and a half.

 

 

 

 

Two months later, and Casey was going a little stir crazy.

Leo might have been still comatose, and Mike’s physical therapy a continuing challenge, but Casey couldn’t be somber and upset _all_ the time. Their families and city might be in the hands of the Kraang still, but they’d get them back eventually.

Now if time would just moved a little faster, that would been great.

Thank god for his odd jobs in town, and mechanic project in the barn, otherwise Casey would’ve snapped back in the first week. He wasn’t used to doing so little, not being able to go roaming streets and alleys at night, no schoolwork or family to take care of.

Well, not really on the family part. Raph was still up and about, when he wasn’t sitting vigil beside Leo’s bath tub. Having a kid running around kept the house alive somehow, even if two important residents were mostly stand still.

Raph did a lot of training with April, Mike guiding the both of them through work outs while he did simple stretches with his slowly healing leg. Every afternoon the three of them, and sometimes Casey and Don, practiced out on the back lawn.

April always looked absolutely stunning after ninja practice; hair tied in a messy bun… tank top and leggings combo bought from the goodwill in town… just the right amount of post-work out glow…

Casey liked to count the freckles on her exposed neck when she turned away from him, imaging what it might be like to taste them. Tracing the curve of her hips, how the tights clung to all the right places, the slight tan along her exposed shoulders…

Damn, he was a lucky guy to see her like that almost every day; April was gorgeous.

He tapped his fingers on the table top, drumming a random beat while April set out glasses for lemonade she and Mike had made the night before. She dumped half a tray of ice cubes into the pitcher, adding further chill to the already cold drink.

Casey licked his lips as April popped an extra ice cube into her mouth, listening to the crunch it made as she closed her pink lips around it.

He was so lucky, so unbelievably lucky.

“You want some, Casey?” April asked, pouring a cup for herself. “We’ve got enough for everyone to have at least two glasses.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” Casey replied, dragging his eyes away from her lips. April walked over, two cups in hand, and Casey tried really, really hard to not stare directly at her chest. April was wearing a sports bra underneath the thin tank top, and Casey could faintly see it through the fabric.

April was about to sit down across from him, setting her cup down far enough from his newspaper job search so it didn’t leave water marks on it, when the screen door into the kitchen banged open.

Don came striding into the room, nose buried in blue prints, and April stepped away from the table to go talk to him. Casey sighed, it was nerd stuff probably, and that meant we wouldn’t be included; he was good with cars, not theoretical aerial dynamics. Or had it been thermo-nuclear dynamics this time?

Casey slumped back against his chair, moodily sipping his lemonade as Don and April traded smart people talk. Don might be a neat guy to hang out with, but Casey had been here first, and there for had dibs on April’s company for the next hour.

Casey’s eyes drifted over to the pair of science geeks, very athletic geeks admittedly but still geeks, and he found himself taking a closer look at Don’s appearance.

The two of them had spread the blue prints across the counter, and April was leaning over it; her back to Casey. Don faced towards him, though he wasn’t looking at Casey. His shell to the counter, and his legs crossed over one another as he listed off numbers to April.

Casey absently noted that Don was wearing the altered tool belt he’d made, the brown belt slung low around what passed as his hips. Every time Don shifted slightly, the belt seemed to slip a little lower; hanging just low enough to look good. Greasy tools bumped against Don’s thighs, leaving streak marks on the smooth green scales.

Casey’s gaze drifted higher, following the carapace of Don’s chest up his body. Don’s arms were crossed, one hand drumming his two fingers as he thought allowed at April; his fingers leaving slight smudges as they did. Despite skipping martial arts training with his family, Don hadn’t lost any muscle mass at all.

Finally, Casey reached Don’s neck, and upwards further, his face. Don’s eyes were distant, seeing equations and designs only he could imagine, and they had that spark they’d been missing for weeks now. A single stripe of black oil went across his snout and left cheek, probably from absent minded scratching while he worked.

Don snapped his fingers, and his whole expression lit up; finally showing the enthusiastic scientist he’d ceased to be in exchange for a serious doctor and nurse. He turned and started explaining his breakthrough to April, and her expression brightened in exactly the same way.

Casey startled slightly as Don grabbed April in a tight hug, April’s arms wrapping around him as well, and the both of them exclaiming gleefully together.

Don leaned away, grinning the widest he had since New York, and April’s own grin mirrored his. April’s pale arms stood out against Don’s green ones, and her petite fingers were curled over his shoulders as his thick ones wrapped around her waist.

They were really, really close together; hips almost touching in fact. April’s curvy legs next to Don’s equally toned thighs, both of them attractively messy from their afternoon activities, and if Don’s hand dropped any lower he’d be… and if April stood tip toe she’d… and if Casey were right between them he’d-

Casey dropped his lemonade.

Don and April startled apart at the shattering glass, and whatever the fuck that mood had been was broken.

Casey mumbled apologies, and hurriedly left the room to go find the dust pan and broom, leaving the other teenagers to clean up his spilt drink.

 

 

 

Casey took a lot of cold showers the next few weeks at the farm house, and tried very, very hard to not think about the dreams that may or may not have occurred after that moment in the kitchen. Dreams that prompted more cold showers in the morning. Sometimes the afternoon.

April he could understand, he’d been gunning for her from the moment she’d opened her mouth and shot him down with words far outside his vocabulary.

But _Don?_ Casey wasn’t sure if the guy even _had_ that kind of equipment.

The mutant walked around naked 24/7, and Casey had yet to see anything that even hinted at _that_ being a thing. Plus, _he wasn’t even human._ He was, very obviously, a six foot plus _turtle mutant._

Jesus pissing Christ, why did he look at Don and immediately think _‘I’d tap that’?!_

What the _hell_ was in the water he’d been drinking?

Casey took all those thoughts, and shoved them as deep as he possibly could into his subconscious.

It didn’t help with the dreams.

 

 

 

Casey Jones had always been the guy to go looking for trouble.

Well, he’d found it. Just… not in the way he’d expected.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sweeps my hand through the air dramatically* "Sexuality crisis, sexuality crisis everywhere."
> 
> Little known fact, I am completely guessing and bs'ing my way through this with the whole thirst thing. I am asexual and the closest I've ever gotten to that has been nearly weeping over how beautiful some humans are. Also fictional characters. Mostly fictional characters.
> 
> Sexuality is weird man, I can understand Casey and April's crisis here.
> 
> Lemme know if I get anything wrong here, its all based off of my partner's info on the subject, fanfiction reading, adult novel and novella reading, and the occasional browsing of cute nsfw comics. What can I say, I'm a well read, but poorly experienced individual.
> 
> Anyways, next up is Don! He's a little more feelsy it turns out, poor kid. Too many emotions and too many self-induced guide lines; Don probably suffers the most out of all of this mess.
> 
> God, I can't wait to write that. Just gotta survive my shift tomorrow, and I can do it right after.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They looked stunning. They looked completely and utterly gorgeous, standing beside one another, and Don wanted nothing more than the march up to them and peel them out of those outfits and-
> 
> Don stopped himself, and forced his eyes to look back out into the void of space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gets kinda really nsfw towards the end there; and I'm... sorry??? Ish?? Idk, things got away from me here, and it just sorta happened. It felt needed, alright? The writing happens as it needs to.
> 
> Good thing I made this teen and up; and 'horny teenagers' was a very necessary tag to add.
> 
> Don why do you talk so much, this is the longest chapter yet.
> 
> God, the last one is going to be massive I think; stupid kids and their complicated feelings.
> 
> Dammnit.

 

 

Sometimes, Don stepped back and wondered if anything about him could ever be normal.

It really didn’t seem like it.

Watching Casey out of the corner of his eye, just as much as he watched April; that wasn’t normal. Wondering what it would be like to get close enough to feel their humanly hot body temperatures, both of them at once pressed flush against him; that wasn’t normal. Having dreams where they were interchangeable for a situation, or dreaming the both of them in that situation at the same time; _that wasn’t normal._

He couldn’t just find one of them attractive, could he? Oh no, he had to find _both_ of them attractive, at the same. damn. time.

Nothing about Don’s life was ever easy, not even his gross squishy, entirely too confusing emotions.

 

 

 

Why couldn’t he have just hated Casey, it would have made everything easier.

Casey very obviously wanted to take the spot in April’s life Don had been pining for, to fill the role of a lover and closest companion. At first, Don had been defensive, derisive, and downright mean to the human; mostly because he was scared that since Casey was human, he’d capture April’s attention and Don would be forgotten like a bad dream.

And April _did_ end up looking at Casey like that, eyes and attention drawn towards the human even when Don was standing right in front of her. That had hurt, but Don had tried to be civil about it; it was April’s choice after all, who she decided to date. Don could pine all he wanted, but he wouldn’t take that away from her.

So Don had taken it out on Casey, with slights and mean spirited jabs; trying to ease the jealousy he felt. It hadn’t lasted long, and Don had been unable to keep it up once he’d gotten to know Casey.

Casey might be an adrenaline junkie, a complete moron in the worst moments, and unable to figure out personal hygiene, but… he was also okay guy, once you got past that crusty outer shell.

He still drove Don crazy of course, but there was a different tone to it after months of knowing him. Casey couldn’t be predicted, and something about that excited Don. Years and years of the same old same old could get boring, especially when Don’s mind was always hungry for _more_ of everything.

Casey _interesting_ , much like how _April_ was interesting. Puzzles without edges, digital codes constantly rewriting themselves, a new surprise every day; Don wanted to get close enough he could hear the tick of their minds, figure out _why_ they were who they were.

Don wanted to know them beyond just the surface, and that was the problem. You didn’t do that with more than one person, it was completely unacceptable in societal standards. Two timing was a severe taboo, according to every romantic advice novel Don had ever picked up. It was the slimiest, most disgusting thing someone could do to the person they liked.

The irony that Don, a mutant turtle living in the literal sewers of New York City, was doing just that, did not escape him.

Slimy and disgusting indeed.

 

 

 

It wasn’t that he liked both boys and girls; Don had known that for a long while. The point when Mike had started asking questions about his sexuality had also been the point when Don had; they’d both taken the Kinsey scale test online, and had both shrugged at the results.

Mike was asexual; Don for all intents and purposes, was bisexual or pansexual. Living in the sewers, completely cut off from humanity, Don hadn’t expected those results to matter. They were mutant turtles, who in their right mind would date them anyways?

Then Don had met April, and the idea of dating had suddenly become extremely important to him.

Mike got what, or rather, who he wanted; he and Leatherhead were very happy together, even after the trials it’d taken for them to reach that point. Don could only hope that he would get to be that happy, even if it meant no sexual intimacy.

Don wouldn’t expect April to do that for him, their biology was too alien to be compatible really. Didn’t change that all too often, Don had to very shamefully suppress the heat in his carefully hidden tail and focus intently on his work; to avoid thinking about just how close April was to him, how sweetly she smelled, how her pale skin and bright hair stood out in his dark home, how if he reached out and touched his hand would brush over her thighs and-

Don spent a lot of time mutely screaming, and repeating the formula for Pi in his head.

Then Casey had shown up, clumsily charmed his way into Don’s life, and Don had had to upgrade to chanting Euler–Lagrange equations and Noether's theorem in his mind every time the human got too close.

Worn hoodies that hid lean muscles, long but strong arms, spindly legs that made him just tall enough to be eye level with Don… lack of respect for Don’s personal space bubble… that one scar just underneath his lip, paler than the rest of his skin… smirking lips that twisted the scar just enough that Don wondered how it would feel to bite it-

Don would bite his own tongue instead, chant theories and numbers a little louder inside his head, and tell Casey off for being too close.

 

 

 

While April was sweet and smooth and colored like summer, Casey was gritty and rough and had the same shading as the streets he loved so much.

Casey smelled like sports leather and sweat from a good work out, April smelled like freshly showered hair and had the lingering scent of library books. His raspy laugh mixed with April’s chiming giggles, a hundred silver scars over his body contrasted to April’s constellations of freckles.

They were both beautiful in their own way, and that made Don feel very much not.

If only he’d hated Casey, if only.

 

 

 

The moments when Don felt least human, when the questions of _why would they ever-?_ caught up with him, Don took a deep breath and would list to himself reasons why they might stay.

He was smart, he could build or hack or invent just about anything they could ever want. If they asked, he could and would turn the entire stock market on its head, and fill their bank accounts to the bursting. Don could make it so they never needed to work a day in their lives, and prevent anyone from ever figuring that out.

He was a ninja, and anyone would admit it, that was pretty cool. Don had an entire ninja clan’s worth of traditions and teachings to pass on, knowledge you’d find nowhere else in the world during the modern age.

He was… well, he tried to be funny at least; making Casey and April laugh or chuckle even when they were feeling down. He could be kind, he could be understanding. Anything they wanted, anything they needed, he’d have it for them as fast as he physically could. He’d support their decisions no matter what; excluding the ones Casey made when his danger boner was acting up, and the ones April made when she was ready to tear someone apart at the seams.

Don’s devotion wouldn’t ever stray… any more than it already had at least. Like there was anyone else for him to be interested in anyways, April and Casey were the only eligible and remotely likable individuals he knew.

And that was about it.

Bit of a short list, considering how long the ones Don had for April and Casey’s good qualities.

Hopefully, if by some sliver of a chance he and one of them ever got that far, it’d be enough for them to look past his outer appearance and lo- like him anyways.

It’d be easier if he could like, _(love)_ , only one of them; only one person to potentially break his heart was a lot easier to face than two, because two almost guaranteed that result.

Nothing about Don’s life was easy though, and this apparently was no exception.

 

 

 

When the earth had been destroyed, after what felt like mere weeks since they’d returned to New York, it’d been the hardest thing Don had ever gone through.

Their home, their families, their Sensei… all gone; sucked into a black hole, and then, lost in the warp backwards through time.

When professor Honeycutt had given the chance to get it all back, Don had taken that hope and clung to it like a drowning sailor. They had one chance, and one chance only, to save the earth. Again.

Saving the world was getting tiring, Don just wanted some time to breathe and live and, you know, maybe put his clusterfuck of emotions to rest already.

Space gave them, Don and his brothers, other sorts of chances too, to walk off the ship and not worry about being stared at like freaks. It was a novelty experience, stepping into public places filled with people, and knowing that none of the aliens there would turn and shoot at them simply for being mutants.

It made Don feel less out of place, for once in his life. It gave him enough courage to stand next to April and Casey, and not worry about their differences. In space, everyone was an alien; so Don and his brothers fit right in.

Don sat next to his two favorite humans at diners, walked with them under the suns of planet-side markets, and got to spend hours at a time with one or both of them doing whatever they felt like.

Amidst the desperate search for the generator pieces, Don managed to relax into the steadiest tempo he’d ever had with April and Casey. Even with the earth’s fate hanging over their heads, somehow, Don felt alright; mostly because he could brush elbows with April while they fixed the ships engines, or he could knock ankles with Casey while they watched a movie. Mostly because Don got to be near the two people he really shouldn’t, but really did, care equally for.

Maybe it wasn’t what Don actually wanted, or what his increasingly annoying arousals wanted, but it was good enough. He could be satisfied with this.

Until…

 

 

 

Don ran his finger along the neckline of his robes, following the deep plunge it took down his plastron.

He couldn’t believe he was wearing this.

Don had never worn proper clothes before, let alone floor length dress robes that looked like something off the European runway.

The slightly stiff fabric of Don’s neckline kept it pressed against his carapace, preventing the mid-torso opening from flopping around. That was the only tight part though, excluding the fitted elbow length sleeves; the loose and flowy skirt of the robe would billow as Don walked, the longer train in the back following him as he went.

The whole outfit was light silver, with dark silver edgings; the inner lining around Don’s legs was milky white, and showed only through the slits that ran down from his hips. It was held together by buttons just under his shell line, leaving the shell exposed, and by straps over his shoulders and just behind his neck. The professor had had them altered so Don and his brothers could wear them and not look awkward and bulky.

An ornate, and rather heavy, white jewelled choker hung around his neck; spider web like, starting midway of his throat and ending just above his collar bone. It sparkled under the lights, and resembled rain drops.

Don had glanced at his reflection in the ship’s window, and once again, asked himself if information about the black hole generator was really worth this much effort.

Yes it was, but Don felt ridiculous.

At least Mike was having fun.

“I cannot _believe_ that we get to dress up and attend an _actual ball_ ,” Mike exclaimed, swirling around in his own outfit. Mike’s was exactly like Don’s, just that the two silver colors were flipped around. “This has to be the best info gathering mission we’ve gone on literally _ever._ ”

“I think this is stupid,” Raph grumbled, kicking the edge of his ash grey robe. He and Leo had matching outfits, apparently the proper dress for youth on the planet they were visiting; they lacked the ornate quality and plunging necks of Mike’s and Don’s, and were less flowy. “I can’t believe I have to wear girl clothes all fricking night. Don’t they have boy clothes? I hate pants, but those’d still be better than wearing a dress.”

“Actually, what you are wearing is the standard clothing of all children on this planet, regardless of gender,” Professor Honeycutt said, wrapping his dark silver sash across his chest. “Unlike on your world, the citizens of Zeltania have much more gender neutral opinion of clothing. Creating a rift between genders by assigning roles and social expectations has been abandoned for centuries now on this planet, and the Zeltanian’s consider themselves above that sort of thing. The only identifiable difference anyways, between their sexes, is the wings the females have. It is fairly redundant to add to that, in their eyes at least.”

“Then how come _you_ aren’t wearing a dress?” Raph asked accusingly.

“Because I am a robot, young Raphael, and it would be silly for a robot to wear robes.”

Don sighed as Raph kicked his robe’s hem again, stomping off to sit in the seat he’d claimed in the cockpit. At least Leo had accepted his clothes without trouble, their youngest brother standing by the huge window of the ship and staring at the planet below.

Don adjusted his choker again; trying to keep the trailing beads in the correct alignment he’d been shown. If he was going to look ridiculous, he’d do it right.

They were only wearing the outfits so they’d blend in better, keep a low profile in the mixed crowds of the high profile event; a dance and political gathering, drawing powerful individuals from worlds nearby. This was where an informant for the professor had promised to meet them, and while it was dangerous because of the people who hunted their small group, it would be worth the risk. Professor was old allies with the informant’s family anyways, and they’d been guaranteed protection should things go south.

The hidden kunai and shurikan under Don’s skirt would add to that protection, as well as the similarly hidden weapons under his brothers’.

Don watched Mike twirl a few more times, his older brother showing his goofier side more than he had since earth. Mike could pull the look off, but then again, Mike had the confidence to pull anything off. Frustrating, since Don thought he himself looked like someone had dressed up their pet for show.

At least Casey would look more ridiculous than Don; he could take comfort in that at least.

The sound of a door swooping open across the room made Don look up, and-

Well. That was just unfair.

“Diiiiiiiid someone ask for a… _secret agent?”_ Casey asked dramatically, swishing into the room and posing like every bond agent ever. “I gotta admit, I was kinda iffy on the dress, but I feel like one of those ladies from those spy movies,” He wiggled his hips, making the robes sashay with the movement. “I can dig it.”

Don could dig it too apparently.

Casey had actually washed his hair for _once_ in his life, and turned out, it wasn’t stringy and flat; the neck length black hair curled slightly on the ends, and bounced lightly as Casey walked. He’d slicked it back with minimal product, probably April’s doing, and it exposed the small widows’ peak he always hid with his bandana. His eyes were accentuated and popped with the eyeliner they’d been told to wear; wings perfectly angled and stark black.

Casey’s robes were exactly like Don’s, but Don had a feeling the design of low neckline and tightly fitted upper body suited him a lot more. With all that, plus the choker, Casey Jones the vigilante had somehow managed to turn into someone who looked conventionally attractive, maybe even runway worthy.

Don’s mouth felt dry.

Then April walked into the room, and Don wondered if he could make it to the airlock in time to save himself the embarrassment of being seen by them.

Same general design for April’s robes, but thankfully minus the neckline; hers instead the opposite, and going high up her throat. Then she’d turned around, modeling the outfit for an oohing Mike, and Don got a good look at her pleasantly muscular shoulders. It made sense that the female version of their outfits would be backless, since Zeltanian women had wings apparently.

Don unwillingly roamed his eyes over both the humans; across Casey’s exposed chest and fitted sleeves, over April’s freckled spine and artfully tousled hair. Admiring the silver band set with white jewels around April’s forehead and her delicately painted lips, the wide bracelets hanging from Casey’s arms and the single beauty mark on his chest …

They looked stunning. They looked completely and utterly gorgeous, standing beside one another, and Don wanted nothing more than the march up to them and peel them out of those outfits and-

Don stopped himself, and forced his eyes to look back out into the void of space.

Don actually wanted to shrink on himself and turn into a miniature wormhole; a brief split second existence before oblivion via its own gravity.

 

 

 

(Don missed them both startling minutely when he’d stepped back into the group, how they’d shot furtive glances over his whole body.

How Casey had bit his lip, looking at how the robes fitted just right to Don’s chest and arms. How April had moistened hers, tracing the slight curve of Don’s hips, the perfectly applied eyeliner and black eyeshadow he had on.

How the green of his scales made the silver of his robes shine, how his red eyes gleamed right along with his choker.

Serious, graceful, and other worldly; Don looked like he’d stepped out of an illustration from a sci-fi romance novel.

Casey and April averted their gazes, and continued the trend of all three of them being oblivious to the others’ attraction.)

 

 

 

 

Pleasant music filled the air as dancers twirled across the ballroom floor, swelling and falling as the couples roved in a circle.

Don stood off to the side, keeping an eye on each member of his group, sipping at a beverage he’d been handed, one that tasted like sparks and apples.

Mike was at a table with the professor, the two of them smooth talking their informant into giving every bit of info he had for free; Leo sitting next to them, shooting pitiful navy blues whenever Mike signalled him to. Nothing got sympathy like a child’s gaze, especially Leo’s; their youngest brother had mastered the art of seducing empathy from adults.

Raph was poised near that table, checking each person who got too close to the sensitive discussion. If something went wrong, he was to make a distraction long enough for the three conversing members of their party to escape.

Don was back up, as well as look out. Ditto for Casey and April, the two humans mobile through the room and catching any blind spots Don had.

Though… they were either so far into their cover even Don was fooled, or they were extremely distracted; by one another.

Casey and April were one of the couples on the dance floor, standing out against the tall and thin black skinned aliens that danced there. The Zelatnians were a vaguely insect race, and had carapace like skin; the women’s wings fluttering dryly as male and female, female and female, and male and male couples danced each other over the stone floors.

Don watched as Casey got close to April’s ear, whispering something that made her laugh aloud. He watched as Casey would trip over his own skirt, and April would then sweep him back into the proper flow of the alien waltzing. How, despite the differences between them and the aliens surrounding them, they looked like they belonged together.

Don’s grip around the delicate glass flute tightened as they swept towards him, the both of them breathlessly laughing as they spoke.

“Wow, Don, you wouldn’t believe how much fun that was,” Casey laughed sidling up to Don and clapping him on the shoulder. “God, if I’d known dancing was that fun, I’d’ve let my ma drag me to dancing classes with her all those years ago.”

“I _told_ you so,” April chided lightly, poking Casey as she giggled. “You two should really listen to me more often; I’m generally right about these things. Oh, anyways though, we don’t have anyone that looks suspicious on that side of the room; I didn’t get a vibe of ‘impending violence’ from any of them. You get anything over here, Don?”

“Ah… no, no we’re all good over here too,” Don replied, keeping his eyes away from the blush over their faces, from the seductively exposed skin on both of them. “Mike and the professor should be done soon; Leo sent me the signal just a moment ago to be prepared to leave. You both ready?”

Casey smirked, putting an elbow on Don’s shoulder and leaning onto him. “Juuuust about, but I was thinking… one more dance perhaps?”

Don’s eyes flickered between the two of them, April was still bright with excitement and Casey practically radiated energy still.

The image of them dancing together appeared in Don’s mind, clumsily in time with one another, matching perfectly despite the missed steps and skipping tempo. Their edges clicking just right, and how it had made them into a set.

Don’s heart felt heavy.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll leave you two to it,” Don mumbled, stepping away from Casey’s touch and wading into the crowds. “I’ll get Raph; meet you two back on the ship.”

Don walked through the throngs of beautiful aliens, feeling awkward and bulky compared to them, and tried to push the hurt inside him far from his mind.

 

 

 

 

(Don completely missed the fact that Casey had been aiming the question at him; that the teenage boy had screwed up his courage and tried to make a move on the mutant.

Casey fumbled briefly, trying to recollect himself, and asked the question again; this time towards April.

She accepted, also missing the original intent of the question, and quietly mourning that Casey hadn’t been asking Don, that she didn’t get to see her boys try dancing together.

They did a final lap around the room, but it was missing the joy of the first few times; because they were missing the other partner of their dance, even though the waltz was meant for two people, not three.)

 

 

 

 

Back on the ship, Don sat with Raph on the couch as they waited for the rest of their family to return.

Raph was slumped in his usual channel surfing pose, and while he’d removed his slight makeup from earlier, he was still wearing his robes.

Don was only wearing his still because there was a chance he might have to go back to the party, in case something _did_ go wrong; he didn’t understand why Raph hadn’t thrown his ‘dress’ onto the floor already, and done a dance on it just to prove his hatred.

“How come you didn’t take off your robes yet?” Don asked, not really watching the flickering screen in front of them.

“They’re comfy,” Raph replied, kicking the robe’s soft hem for emphasis.

Don raised an exposed eye ridge, for once without his mask over it; they’d all removed their masks in exchange for liquid ones. “Really? You hated them earlier, called them ‘girly’ and everything.”

“Changed my mind,” Raph snapped, turning the volume up on the TV. “I’m allowed to wear ‘em if I want, professor said so. They’re for everyone, not just girls.”

Don looked down at his own outfit, and sighed internally; one more person who liked and looked better in the robes than him. At least Raph was happy though, his little brother needed a pick-me-up after the endless searching to save earth.

“Fair enough,” Don conceded, and leaned back onto the couch. Raph nodded once, satisfied with ‘winning’ the ‘argument’, and changed the channel again.

 

 

 

When their brothers, the professor, and Casey and April had gotten back on the ship; Don had been forced to leave the room.

The sight of April’s arm around Casey’s waist, and Casey’s arm slung over her shoulders, was just a little too much for Don at that moment.

Don retreated to his room, shucked his ill-fitting robes off, dumped his stupid choker on the bathroom sink, and scrubbed the makeup off his eyes.

Don curled up in his slightly too short bed, and stewed in his own misery.

 

 

 

(Casey had finally tripped on his skirt hem and taken a bad tumble, hurting his ankle in the process. April was just keeping him upright long enough for them to get him to the couch, and put some ice on his leg.

But Don didn’t know that, and no one caught him quick enough to tell him.)

 

 

 

The hours ticked by, and Don tortured himself with _‘what if’s’_ ; the things he’d wanted to do, seeing April and Casey in those robes, but hadn’t because he wasn’t allowed to.

He’d wanted to step up to April, and trail his hands across her bare back; caress her as she leaned into a kiss with him. To remove each layer one by one, and worship each bit of newly exposed skin. Don had wanted to kiss and nip and taste each freckle she had, leaving his own marks over them. He’d wanted to leave her dress in a pool on the floor, and touch every inch of her.

He’d wanted to push Casey up against the wall, and finally wipe that smug smirk away with a harsh kiss; to bite and bruise Casey’s skin, to redden his lips and make them swell. Don had wanted to tear that necklace off and place his mouth over Casey’s throat instead, to dot it with hickies and teeth scrapes; to pull away that silken fabric and toss it aside, leaving each of Casey’s scars out in the light where Don could count and catalogue each one.

He’d ached to have April against him, skin on scales, slow and smooth movements as they learned each other’s surfaces. He’d wanted her to arch under his touch, to hear what incredible sounds she might make if he rubbed the right places. Don had wanted her to push back against his touches, for her to show that side of fire and power as she took control of their situation.

He’d desperately needed to hear the panting breath that Casey made, as Don held him to the cold walls and grinded against him until Casey did the same; equally forceful, both of them demanding and wrestling for control. He’d wanted Casey to flip their positions, and hold _Don_ to the wall; for the human to bite his neck scales, and for Casey’s long fingers to grip him so hard they left bruises.

Don had wanted so, so badly to pull them both into a bed; to show them both just how amazing he thought they were, by leaving trails of kisses up and down their bodies, scratching and biting where it felt best.

He’d wanted to crouch over them, or have them crouch over him, and for the three of them to lose themselves in a tangle of limbs and pleasure.

Don panted in the dark of his room, burning hot despite his cold blood. His sheets and what was left of his dignity tossed aside; no one could see or hear him anyways, he was alone.

He was always alone, and would probably remain so.

Don lay in his bed, dreaming of impossible things, and writhed to the images in his head; touching places he was ashamed to have, and wishing desperately for someone else to be touching him instead. With love and lust, and not disgust.

He gasped and shuddered, finding his end in the thought of April and Casey’s hands on him.

Don collapsed on himself, and huffed softly for breath as he rode out the last of his haze. Silence settled back into his room, and Don’s bed grew cold and lonely feeling.

In the fuzzy darkness, Don could see the discarded pile of his dress robes; kicked against the wall in his storm of emotions earlier.

Alone, and patiently waiting for his forced indifference to return, Don quietly hated the robes and everything they’d brought into his life that evening.

Don closed his eyes, and dreamt the exact same scenes over again.

 

 

 

(Rooms away from him, Casey and April fell into similar situations.

All three of them aching, pining, and wanting into darkness as scenes played through their minds.

If only they’d known that each member of their triangle felt the same, it would have made the night so much more bearable.)

 

 

 

Don woke up later on, and told himself that if April and Casey decided to get together, he wouldn’t stop them; it was their choice. That if it made them happy, Don would step back and let them be the couple they seemed perfect to be.

But then they didn’t become that, even after they’d saved the earth, even after both of them showed signs of _wanting_ the other.

And somehow, that made everything even worse, because it made Don hope against all hope.

So he watched, and suffered, interactions between them; getting close, getting nearly-not-quite-there each time, then the two humans would separate again and resume whatever they’d been doing.

Don quietly screamed inside his head every time he got close to one or both, when he felt like he was seeing something aimed towards him even though there was no way there would be. Knocking knees under tables and sitting close during televised movies; sitting on top of buildings and talking late into the night under the street lights.

Casey taking Don to special spots in alleyways, showing Don the murals he painted when they weren’t fighting street gangs. April letting Don cut her hair with sharp scissors in her bathroom; trusting him to slice away most of her follicles, and give her the new look she’d desired after her graduation to kunoichi.

The three of them tucked neatly together on the couch in April’s home, Don helping them both with homework. Lying sprawled on that carpet floor after rough nights, talking about nothing and everything. Both of them visiting him at random hours, coming into his lab and bringing with them life and energy Don sorely desired.

It hurt and taunted him, because Don wanted that all to continue, but with something _more_.

Don wanted both of them, wanted them both to want _him,_ and it ate him up slowly inside.

 

 

 

(On the other ends of the triangle, April and Casey didn’t fare much better.

Getting so close, and then forcing themselves to pull away at the last second; the three of them having the same circling thoughts of _‘There can only be two people together, only two-_

_-and that doesn’t have to include me.’_

And they would’ve continued this until someone snapped or got too hurt to continue, if not for a certain eldest brother who was So Done with watching them dance around the issue.

Mike had suffered long enough, watching the three morons circle each other like panicking vultures. He was going to do something about it, or he’d die trying.)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so lol, literally everyone in this 'verse is a little to a lot queer in some way. Leo is probably the only fully straight kid in here, and even then, he gives so few cares about expectations for gender and sexuality by the time it really matters, that nothing phases him anymore.
> 
> (Talk to me about this AU on my tumblr, pls pls pls, I'm onthespectrumwriting and I'd love you forever if you came and asked questions.)
> 
> I'm sorry-not-sorry for the turts in skirts; I love elegant formal wear, especially ones that resemble the ones I made up in here. I dream of worlds where everyone is fabulous and gender conformity doesn't exist.  
> Someone wash Casey Jones with actual soap, he may actually be kinda hot underneath that grease.
> 
> Also, I'm not entirely sure how thoughts like the ones Don had go, and its mostly, once again, guessing on my part. I just like getting poetic and kinda raunchy when describing physical intimacy; its such an important point in any relationship, no matter what sort of intimacy it is. When a couple or poly gets to that point, whether its sexual or not, I just melt all gooey like; I love Love, especially when its so powerful like this.
> 
> These notes are all really out of order, whoops. Its past 3 AM here though, so gimme a break.
> 
> Anyways! With Don's chapter done, we get to move onto the long suffering observer of this train wreck; the very much put upon older brother, Mike! He is Done™ with the capritello nonsense happening, and just wants it to be over already.
> 
> I'll be back later, thanks for all the support thus far.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike loved them all, he really did, but they just. so. stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey! Lil bit short this time, though the next will be pretty long I'm thinking.
> 
> Thanks for all the support guys, this got more popular than I expected for such a small time AU, especially considering how rare the pairing is.

 

Mike tapped his fingers along the steering wheel, keeping one eye on the road, and the other on the two idiots in the back of the Shellraiser.

April was preoccupied with Leo and Raph, the three of them exchanging theories about how Gravity Falls was going to end when the last portion of the series finally came out, and that had left Don and Casey with just each other. Alone. Just them. Aaaaaaaall the way in the far back of the vehicle. In the dark.

Mike smoothly turned the Shellraiser around another corner, and tensed up as he watched in the review mirror, Casey shifting a little closer in the double seat he and Mike’s brother shared.

Oh gosh, was this finally it? Were they _finally_ going to cross the boundary? Just a little more, please just a little closer, they were looking into each other’s eyes and everything, Mike could see that much, just a little closer, just a few… more.. inches…

Oh. Nope. Casey and Don had leaned away and were ignoring each other again.

Mike didn’t swear often, but _god fucking dammnit._

Mike resisted the urge to slam his forehead into the steering wheel, and scream in a very un-leaderly manner.

 

 

 

Mike loved Don, he really did; he also loved April and Casey just as much.

But the three of them were _driving him insane._

Months, they’d been dancing around each other for _months_. Like, every time Mike turned around these days, one of all of them were making eyes at the others. How they kept missing this about each other, he’d never know.

It’d been fine and dandy when Don first started crushing on April, that was something Mike could tolerate. Then April had started to make the crushing mutual, and it’d turned into pining, and despite it being painfully obvious to literally everyone else, neither of them made a move.

Mike had let them be, he’d trusted his brother and semi-adopted friend to figure things out on their own time. They’d all been busy after all, what with invasions and aliens and psycho ninja clans popping up every second Tuesday.

So Mike had kept his mouth shut, and tried very, very hard not to tease his brother about the doe eyes he got when April was around.

Then Casey showed up, and it got _worse_.

Once the two of them got passed having a hissy fit every time they were in the same room, Don had started making bedroom eyes at the human instead, and Casey started doing the _exact same thing_ ; which was somehow even more frustrating to witness.

April was exactly no help, and seemed to amplify the bedroom eyes effect the three of them got. All three members of the incredibly stupid love triangle, they all shot glances they thought were secretive towards the others.

Mike had a very hard time not just shoving their stupid heads together and _making_ them kiss.

 

 

 

 

After their space adventures, and all the exhilaration and pain that’d gone with those, Mike had hoped his three idiots would smarten up and put the love triangle to rest.

They’d all almost died more times than Mike had fingers; they _had_ to have had enough of a wakeup call that wasting time was pointless! Life was short and amazing and so, so dangerous; you should never deny yourself the better things about it. Not when those better things could make your life even more amazing.

Mike’s friends and brother apparently didn’t understand that bit of advice, despite two parts of their triangle being near and actual geniuses.

He’d hoped that maybe Casey, who was made of pure instinct and adrenaline cravings, would finally make a move out of desperation to put those awkward boners to rest; Mike spent a lot of time with the guy at the farm house. He knew things about that boy he’d never wanted to know. Like why he’d take all those showers, or why he’d run away from training sessions when April and Don were sparring.

Casey made no moves on either member of the triangle, and Mike sighed deeply every time the human asked to use their shower in the middle of a visit.

Mike had prayed that April, their sweet and smart red head, would put two and two together and come up with three. That she’d finally grab Mike’s stupid younger brother and haul him into a kiss, after nearly two years of very obvious pining. That maybe she’d grab both of her idiot not-boyfriends and make _them_ kiss, because the two boys hid literally nothing when they got into a fight; both teenagers getting a liiiittle closer than necessary for a quick tussle.

April didn’t do any of those things, and Mike used every ounce of his self-control to not call her out on ogling Don and Casey’s rears and deltoids.

And Don, Mike’s wonderful amazing genius brother; what a fricking idiot. Mike lived with the guy; he knew the exact type of sigh that Don made when he was thinking about their human friends. Mike wasn’t surprised, but he was also not impressed that his brother didn’t make a move on either human. Despite being near egotistical about his inventions and IQ level, Mike knew his brother was also painfully insecure about his own body and feelings.

Mike knew that better than ever, because they’d gotten drunk together; about two weeks after returning to earth, because Don was a curious scientist, and he’d wanted to see how much alcohol their bodies needed to get intoxicated. Mike had gone along with it because Don had been feeling down, and he’d wanted his brother to feel better. Their father and brothers were already asleep, so they had privacy to be irresponsible for once.

Don had poured them both some of the distilled alcohol, and after the first couple shots, he’d gotten a little… excited with the percentage in his own drinks.

 Don had spent the whole evening after that crying softly onto his notes as he talked. Don remembered nothing of that night, but Mike recalled it perfectly; mostly, his brother had sniffled wetly and told Mike over and over again the different reasons why he just _loooooved_ his friends. How amazing they were, and how beautiful they were, and how most definitely they were never going to want what he wanted. Which included sex with him.

Mike hadn’t wanted to ever hear his brother talk about his sex life, but he had, and now Mike knew pretty much everything his brother wanted to do to their human friends.

Some things were just not meant to be heard from one’s sibling.

 

 

 

 

Hearing similar things from Mike’s human friends wasn’t any more pleasant.

Sometimes, when she thought no one else was around, April would whisper _“Fuck me.”_ to herself as she watched Casey or Don or both of them. Mike had heard it no less than twenty times already.

Hearing Casey mumble _“That ass though.”_ as he watched April and Don spar together, was honestly one of the worst things Mike had ever experienced.

Definitely not worse than hearing April, when she thought everyone had already turned off their com-links, breathily whisper _“I wish I’d recorded that.”_ right after Don and Casey had finished having their fifth completely pointless wrestling fight of the evening.

Or the one time Casey had stopped mid-fight with a Footbot, muttering _“Wish he’d do that to me.”_  because Don had just straddled another robot between his thighs and snapped its neck with his bare hands.

With every _“Damn, those thighs though.”_ or _“You could bounce a dollar off that ass.”_ or _“I’d let her suplex me any day.”_ or god forbid the most popular one, _“Hot damn, I could watch him/her/them all night.”_ , Mike’s patience grew thinner and thinner.

He did not want to know _any of these things_ , but _he did_ and that was because he actually paid attention to what people were saying around him, and _didn’t walk around with his head clouded with imaginary sex and ignore the very real sex that_ could _be if they’d only. Flipping. TALK TO EACH OTHER._

Mike loved them all, he really did, but they just. so. _stupid._

 

 

 

If one of them didn’t make a move soon, someone was going to get hurt.

Mike didn’t want that to happen to any of them, not when everything could be solved by them _actually talking_ about their _actual feelings_ and not pretending the _extremely thick sexual tension_ didn’t exist.

He and Leatherhead had done that, and look how happy they were; Mike tucked comfortably against his boyfriend’s huge chest and a good movie playing on the television. What wonders you could experience when you actually _talked._

“It’s like. Their brains short circuit and they forget how to function like actual people,” Mike complained loudly, annoyed by the same thing he’d been fed up with all week. “I don’t understand it, why are sexual people so flipping complicated?”

“I would not know, Michelangelo,” Leatherhead replied, voice rumbling through Mike’s shell. “I have never experienced such things; it is all very confusing to me as well.”

“Bluuuuuuh, they’re so stupid. I’ve been waiting and waiting for them to do something, literally _anything_ , about this, and _nope._ Nada. They’re practically drooling over each other and they’re _still_ not figuring it out,” Mike huffed, crossing his arms. “If I have to watch them _not_ acknowledge the tension one more time, _‘m gonna scr e a m.”_

Leatherhead patted his small and agitated boyfriend’s head, humming in agreement. “Their smell of repressed hormones is not a pleasant one; it makes me want to sneeze.”

“Ugh, _same_ ,” Mike grumbled, snuggling further into Leatherhead’s embrace. “I’m gonna die of sexual tension, and it’s not even mine!!”

Leatherhead chuffed a laugh, which was followed by another and another, because Mike was groaning and glaring at Leatherhead; Mike was a very fierce ninja yes, but not so when he was being petulant.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m seriously suffering here!” Mike whined, Leatherhead still chuckling. “Uuuuuugh, c’mon, you’re supposed to be sympathetic and stuff, not laugh at my pain!”

Leatherhead laughed, and booped Mike’s snout with his own. “You are very hard to take seriously when you whine.”

“Ugh, you know what? No more snoot boops for you bud, you’re officially cut off,” Mike said, turning away from Leatherhead; only to be picked up in one hand by the croc and lifted to be eye level with him. Mike narrowed his eyes at Leatherhead, who only smirked, and booped Mike’s snout again. Mike held his glare for another second, before cracking a smile shoving his snout against Leatherhead’s. “Aw, I can’t stay mad at you, you’re way too cute. No fair.”

“Hm, yes, no fair indeed,” Leatherhead replied, not at all apologetic. “You are very cute yourself though, do not forget that.”

“Pfft, yeah I know, thanks for reminding me,” Mike giggled, feeling gleeful and fluttery, just like he always did when Leatherhead visited.

They settled back into their original positions, Mike cuddled comfortably by Leatherhead’s huge arms, and watched some more of the movie. Not more than five minutes later though, Mike’s thoughts had returned to the thing that’d interrupted their date in the first place.

“Why don’t they just talk? If they talked, like you know, we did, they could be doing all sorts of things like this,” Mike sighed, feeling his annoyance rise up again. “We didn’t dance around the subject, and it worked out great! I swear, the only way I’m gonna get those three to talk out their dumb sexual tension is if I lock them in… a… closet…”

Mike slowly grinned, and started to laugh. That laugh grew into a cackle, his grin into a smirk, and Leatherhead huffed in amusement as Mike started listing off things he’d need for his evil plot. “Okay, so first I’mma need that CD player Leo has for his tai-chi, an’ then I’m gonna need Raph’s help with a lil bit of technical stuff…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one can save the trio, Mike is on the move and this ends now. : 3c


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this, for a quick wrap up and tie in with the summary at the beginning!  
> Enjoy!

 

 

“Alright Mike, what did you want to show us?” Don asked his brother, feeling mildly impatient. April and Casey we’re over for the evening, and they’d been planning on watching a movie on the television together; Don didn’t have time for this, he wanted to go back to guiltily enjoying his friends’ presence.

“I swear it’s just a quick thing, ‘kay?” Mike said, opening the doors to Don’s lab and gesturing for them to enter.

“If you’ve decided to try an experiment with _my_ chemicals _again…_ ” Don warned his brother.

“Nope! Learned that lesson for _ever_ ago, no more mad scientist attempts; swear on my life! Best to leave that kinda thing to the real mad scientists of the family, ha ha.”

Don hummed doubtfully, but stepped into his lab regardless; April and Casey following him inside. Don put his hands on his hips, and surveyed the room for disruption or damage.

“Yo, you clean up or something Mikester?” Casey asked, noting the cleanliness like Don was. All of Don’s in-progress work had been cleared away it seemed, leaving the tables spotless and everything neatly put away. A pleasant surprise actually, it’d been getting kind of messy lately.

“What’s with the tarp stuff over there?” April questioned, pointing at the suspicious canopy of plastic over something small-ish.

“Okay, you got me, Mike,” Don said, examining the cleaned tables and neatly swept floors. “Is the surprise that you cleaned up my la-?”

The door clattered shut behind him.

Don turned around, staring at the very much closed doors.

“Mike?”

Chains rattled from outside the room, scrapping against the door.

“Mike what are you doing.”

Something clicked together on the other side of the door.

_“Mike.”_

_“Sorry Don,”_ Mike’s voice said through the thick doors. _“It’s for your own good!”_

“What the fuuuuuuuck…..” Casey muttered.

April looked vaguely concerned now. “Did he just lock us in here? Mike, why did you lock us in here?”

Don marched over to the door, whispering just loud enough for Mike to hear through the door’s metal. “Mike, I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I can tell you now, _it’s not going to help._ ”

_“I promise, soon as you guys talk things out-”_

“Does he think we’re fighting? Mike we aren’t fighting-”

“-ha ha, um, Mikester what exactly is the plan here? ‘cause we’re gonna miss our movie if you don’t let us out-”

“ _Mike._ ” Don nearly growled at the blank metal. “Let us out, or I swear to god-”

 _“I’ll let you all out as soon as everything is sorted, ‘cause lemme tell you,”_ More sounds of metal, probably another chain on the door’s handles. _“I don’t think the rest of us can stand this much longer, let alone you three.”_

Don had a very heavy, sinking feeling settling in his gut.

 _“Please_ , Mike, don’t make me do this,” Don said, keeping his voice low enough he hoped April and Casey didn’t hear him. “It won’t work, whatever you’re thinking will happen, _it won’t work.”_

_“I dunno, sounds pretty full proof to me.”_

“Raph?” Don asked.

_“Sup.”_

_“I’m here too,”_ Leo’s voice added.

Don thunked his head against the metal of the door, sighing deeply. “You involved our little brothers, Mike? Guys, why are you doing this to me?”

 _“Well…”_ Leo’s guilty sounding voice said.

_“We’re sick of you three being idiots.”_

_“Raph!”_

_“What, I’m just sayin’ what you won’t!”_

“Leo, if you open this door right now…” Don racked his brain for a good barter. “I’ll give you unlimited access to my laptop for a week.”

_“Mike already gave me his laptop for, uh, the whole month so…”_

Don narrowed his eyes, one more option then. “If you or Raph or Mike do not open this door right this instant, I’m revoking your rights to Christmas presents.”

_“Aw what-”_

_“-no fair Don! We’re just doin’ what Mike told us to-”_

_“-you know what, it’ll be worth it,”_ Mike said grimly _. “Don, I’m sorry, but this for the good of the team.”_

“Yo, Don? Whaaaaaat exactly is goin’ on here?” Casey asked, coming over and leaning against the door as well.

“I’d sort of like to know that too, is this a prank?” April asked as well, and Don could hear the sound of her shuffling around behind him.

Don pushed his head against the door again, hissing shortly. “My brothers are being dicks.”

 _“No swear words Don, you know the rules!”_ Mike called through the doors.

“Well you _are!”_ Don retorted.

_“I am making a leaderly decision to solve a problem that is frankly driving us all insane. So either fix you guys’ issues, or stay in there forever! Well. Not really. But you get the idea!”_

“He’s finally lost his mind,” Don muttered, trying to squish his rising anxiety with anger instead. “He’s lost his mind and he’s going to drag me down with him.”

_“I resent that remark!”_

“I know where you sleep Mike!”

_“You’ll thank me for this, all of you will!”_

“I’m still really lost here,” Casey said in a mostly unconcerned tone, scratching his only sort of greasy hair; April had made him take a shower the day before. “D’you, like, got somethin’ that you’re mad about, Don? ‘cause I’m drawing a blank on why he’d lock us in a room, or what issues we got. We’re chill, right April?”

“As far as I know, we are,” April said from outside Don’s vision. “Unless Don’s hiding something, or you are, Casey.”

“I’m not hiding anything; Casey Jones is an open book for his peeps.”

“Don’t say ‘peeps’, it lowers my IQ level,” Don said tonelessly, subtly not answering April’s question. He sighed, and stepped away from the door; rubbing his forehead. “Alright, someone find me my blow torch, I’m getting us out of here.”

_“Don’t bother; Raphie here already got all your fancy tools, Don.”_

Don closed his eyes, counted to ten, and made himself swear he wasn’t going to murder his brothers in their sleep whenever he got out of here.

“….I guess we wait them out then?” April suggested.

“Something like that,” Don sighed, pinching between his eyes. His brother probably meant well, but honestly, Don couldn’t see any way this situation ended without someone’s feelings getting badly hurt. Most likely scenario, it was _his_ feelings getting trampled.

“Man, this blows. I was actually kinda looking forwards to watching _Beverly Hills Ninja,_ ” Casey said, kicking the floor. “At least they didn’t set booby-traps or something, ‘cause no matter what Mike says this still feels like a joke.”

“Yep, a cruel, cruel joke,” Don muttered under his breath. The cruelest joke possible; locking him in a room with not just one, but both of the people his brother _knew_ Don wanted to be with, and couldn’t.

At least things couldn’t get worse, not with Mike’s meddling self locked out of the room.

_“Hey Don? Did the second step of my plan start yet?”_

“Second step. There’s a _second_ step?” Don asked nervously, eyes darting around for a sign of an attacking… something. Anything. Don wouldn’t put it past his brothers to have accomplished… who knew what. They were ninjas. It was _Mike_ they were dealing with.

_“Yeah. Should’a started by now, or did it and you guys just not mind-”_

The emergency sprinklers of Don’s lab sputtered to life, and released a thick spray of water on them all. April shrieked at the cold water, and Casey let out an oath.

_“-there we go. I knew Raph wouldn’t let me down on that.”_

Don inhaled through what passed as his nose, sighing deeply. “Mike, I’m never giving you Christmas presents ever again. _Or_ repairing your skateboard the next time you break it.”

_“You know, this is still worth it.”_

“Actually, I may just kill you.”

_“Stiiiiiiill worth iiiiiiiit.”_

“I think I’m going to help you hide his body,” April said, shielding her eyes from the downpour. Don kept his own eyes off her, because the water was making a previously very loose top become very un-loose around her body; of all the nights for her to wear sheer fabric instead of her usual t-shirts, it had to be this one.

“Y’know, I’m usually down for pranks and stuff,” Casey said, untying his soaked bandanna and tossing it onto a nearby table. “But this is kinda pointless? So we’re wet, what’s the joke in that?”

Don quietly hated Casey’s choice of wording.

“I don’t know,” Don lied, ignoring the desire to move away that one strand of hair plastered to Casey’s cheek. “He’s probably just being an idiot.”

“Well, he said he wasn’t going to let us out until we talked out our ‘issues’, so…” April shrugged; looking already resigned to being dowsed in water and locked in a room. “We should start talking, and see if we hit the subject Mike is looking for.”

Don did not want to do that, at _all._ He would rather stab himself in the knee with his own naginata blade than talk about the specific topic Mike was hinting at. Heck, he’d rather fight a whole squadron of Tricertons by himself than talk about that subject!

Then something loudly clicked to the side of Don, and he turned his head. Over the sound of the water falling, the sound of music started drifting out from underneath the plastic tarp.

It was smooth saxophone music, rising and falling as a male singer’s voice entered the sound. Don’s brother had set up what was likely Leo’s stereo to play _Careless Whisper by George Michael._

“Ha, isn’t that that meme music?” Casey chuckled, sounding a combination of confused and amused.

_“I feel so unsure… as I take your hand… and lead you to the dance floor…”_

 

Don put his head in his hands, and quietly prayed someone would take mercy on him, and just kill him already.

 

 

 

“You sure this is gonna work?” Leo asked, sounding very doubtful of Mike’s genius plan.

“Totally! It’s just like every romantic comedy ever,” Mike said confidently, hands on his hips and grinning proudly. “The pining characters get trapped in a room, get soaked, and then romantic music starts playing in the background. Aaaaand then make outs and stuff, ‘cause they resist each other. I think. I don’t actually know how sexual people work.”

“Yeah, that was kinda obvious,” Raph muttered, fiddling with the remote he’d used to set off the sprinklers.

Mike reached out and lightly whapped Raph’s back of skull. “Doubters! I know what I’m doing!”

“You just said-”

“I say a lot of things!”

“…I’m gonna go watch _Space Heroes_ ,” Leo said, turning away from the chained up doors of the lab. “Lemme know if they figure stuff out.”

“Will do, Leo!” Mike said cheerfully, waving at his brother without turning away from the doors.

Raph wrinkled his snout, hearing the faint sounds of saxophone float through the doors. “How long is this going to take anyways?”

“I have no idea, hopefully not long!”

“Yeah, okay, I’m gonna go watch _Space Heroes_ then,” Raph said, walking off to join his younger brother on the beanbags.

“You guys do that, I’m staying here to keep an ear on these guys,” Mike replied, sitting down to lean his shell against the door. He tapped his fingers on his knee pads, absently humming along with the great songs he’d chosen to set the mood. “Aaaaany minute now… c’mon Don, I know you can do it….”

 

 

 

Don could definitely not do this.

“Okay, um… Maybe we’re supposed to talk about… fuck. I’m drawing a blank. What’ve we covered?” Casey asked Don and April. Having given up any hope of staying dry, he’d sprawled himself in one of Don’s soggy rolling chairs, and was absently twisting back and forth in it.

“We covered school, and movies, and training, and who’s taking care of Klunk’s vet bills right now, aaaaand I think we covered groceries too?” April listed off, counting her neatly trimmed nails. She was perched on a stool, and Don was having a hard time not looking at her primly crossed legs. “And none of them were what Mike’s looking for.”

“I don’t think he’s even listening anymore, we can just stop, maybe?” Don asked hopefully, shifting on his own stool; trying to ignore the cool stream of water still spraying him.

“You kidding? I’m wet, and this shirt is doing literally nothing to keep me warm. We’re going at this until Mike lets us out.”

“…I was afraid you’d say that,” Don mumbled to himself.

Another song started up, this one with even more obvious lyrics.

 

_“….Lay with me, I'll lay with you….We'll do the things that lovers do…. Put the stars in our eyes…”_

 

“Okay, what’s with the soppy music shit?” Casey asked, giving his chair another soggy spin. “Is that a part of the joke here?”

“Yep. Definitely. Ha ha,” Don muttered dryly. “Veeeery funny.”

“I’m starting to think it’s a clue to the reason we’re in here,” April said, and Don could feel her eyes sweeping over him and Casey. “Let’s back track a bit to the beginning of this conversation; is anyone here hiding something? Related to romance, that is.”

Mutely, Don screamed.

“Hm. Nah,” Casey said breezily, spinning back around to face their triangle. “Casey Jones has got no lucky… individual in his life right now. I’m pretty good with what I got with just you guys.”

Don wished Casey meant that a different way.

“Same here. I mean, I’m not d-dating anyone. Ha, can you imagine? Me, dating someone…” Don trailed off quietly, coughing to cover his self-deprecation. “Um. Anyways, similar feelings here. Like Casey said. I’m content with just my family and you two, no need to go pursuing unrealistic things like, um, partners.”

“Well. I have no idea what Mike’s looking for then, since I’m single as well,” April crossed her arms, humming in thought. “But if we’re _all_ single, and he’s locked us in a room together, and not so subtly been playing this music…”

 No, no no no _no no no-_

“…maybe he’s trying to get two of us together?”

Don stood up from his stool suddenly, walking rapidly over to the still shut doors. Ignoring April and Casey’s questions of what he was doing, Don knelt on the damp concrete and pressed his forehead back against the metal. “Mike. Please. Please, please, _please._ Open the door, I’m begging you.”

No answer, just the continued water shushing over them all, and the stereo singing more sappy romance lyrics

 

_“Consequences…. Turned me hostile…. I got so tied in…. Made me docile….”_

“Don?” The sound of Casey’s chair clattering. “You alright bud?”

 

_“Then you applauded… When I was loving… Made me feel weak and… I start recovering…”_

 

Don whispered one last thing to the door. “ _Please Mike; don’t let this happen to me.”_

_Don’t make me break my own heart._

 

_“Now I feel silly… Selfish and dizzy…”_

Mike didn’t answer.

“Don,” April said, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Don sighed, and sat back from the locked door, feeling wrung out and foolish. His brother wasn’t going to open the door, not until Don cleared the air with April and Casey.

 

_“…. Now I got this feeling…”_

 

He turned his head, and noted both of their concerned expressions. April’s brow furrowed, her lips slightly pursed; Casey’s confused if concerned frown, one eyebrow raised at Don.

_“… That you'll forgive me…”_

 

“I think….” Don started, moistening his lips nervously.

 

_“And you know…”_

 

“I think my brother wants me… for me to…”

 

_“… Oh my God, just please don't ever let me go.”_

 

“… to tell you guys to finally get together,” Don finished miserably, losing his courage to speak the truth.

“Um- excuse me?”

“Uh. Ditto that.”

Do shrugged, deciding he might as well dig his own grave a little deeper. Further down, where no one would hear him scream. “You two have been showing chemistry for over a year. Maybe more. I guess Mike just got tired of seeing you two… not talk about it. Or something. Anyways, main message here, just. Kiss or something already. It’s painful for everyone to watch.”

Don’s words felt bitter on his tongue, and he wanted to snatch each and every one of them back. He didn’t want to say those things; he wanted to be saying-

“That’s bullshit,” April said suddenly, startling Don enough he flinched. She winced apologetically, and sat down next to him on the wet cement. “Sorry, but it is. No one gets to direct my love life except me, not even our admittedly foolish-fearless leader.”

“I don’t know why we’re sitting on the cold floor, but ditto April’s statement,” Casey added, plopping down against the door. “I mean. I wouldn’t really be _against_ dating April per say… but that’s not really what I want? No offense April.”

“None taken, it wouldn’t be what I wanted either,” April said with sigh. “I’m not entirely sure if I even _could_ get what I wanted though, so it’s moot point here.”

“I can relate…” Don mumbled, eyes drifting back to the floor. It had about an inch worth of water over it now, since the doorway was a bit of a dip. His reflection stared back, and he quietly wished he had the guts to ask at least _one_ of the humans beside him if they would ever…

“And what’s that?” Casey asked, aimlessly flicking water with his forefinger. “The thing you guys want, but can’t have for whatever reason; ‘cause I kinda find it hard to believe _either_ of you wouldn’t be able to get it. I mean… c’mon, you’re both awesome, what _can’t_ you accomplish?”

“Lots of things,” Don replied vaguely. Lots of very normal things. Normal relationship things. Except that the relationship he wanted was the _opposite_ of normal. “I can’t accomplish lots of things.”

“Same here, there’s plenty I can’t accomplish on my own,” April added, not looking at either Don or Casey; instead staring at the stereo still playing _Passion Pit_ songs. “It’d need… it’d need more people than just myself to accomplish. The ‘thing’ I want, that is.”

Don paused, and he noted that Casey’s splashing had as well. Slowly, Casey asked another question. “…how many people we talkin’ here?”

“Ah… well, m-more than just two people,” April said, still facing away from them. “Myself… myself included in those first two people.”

Don felt like his heart had just stopped.

“Wait… d’you mean…?” Casey leaned forwards, water sloshing around him as he did. “More than two… shit. No way. How many more-?”

“Just one more person. It’d need three people, me included,” April said softly.

Don’s mouth dropped open, and it felt like his lungs had lost their air. He managed though, an equally soft, _“…oh.”_

“Ha. Um. You’re not kidding… right?” Casey asked, nervous laughter dying off as he swallowed thickly.

“I wouldn’t kid about this stuff,” April said, finally turning her face back to them both. Don felt his already faltering thoughts completely stutter, meeting April’s vulnerable yet determined stare. “I wouldn’t kid about my feelings, especially not the ones I’ve got f-for other people.”

Don sucked in a short breath, finding himself reading something in those words that he couldn’t afford to. “April, do you-”

“Same.” Casey said, cutting off Don’s words. Don whipped his head around, another stutter to his lungs. Casey was looking directly at him, like he was challenging Don to refuse his claim. “I’d need the same amount of people to get what I want. And I’m not kidding either. I-I wouldn’t, not about this.”

Don stared at Casey for another beat, neither of them breaking the silence, and then…

Don laughed. A single, short, sound.

Then again, and again, and again.

Don put his head down on his knees, and continued laughing wheezily.

“Oh shit- jesus, Don what’s wrong-?”

It wasn’t fair.

“-you having an anxiety attack, Don? I’ll get Mike to open the door, I swear, this has gone too far if you are-”

“-I-I didn’t mean to, just. Shit. Shit shit shit. Don, whatever I said that set you off, I’m sorry, god I’m so sorry, dammnit-”

It was. not. fair.

“-tell us what’s wrong, we’ll apologize and, uh, then we’ll talk it out over some hot chocolate-”

“-I was just being honest for once; I thought that’s what I was supposed to do-!”

“It’s not fair.”

“-what?” April and Casey said simultaneously.

“I said, _it’s not fair,”_ Don said, mostly to his own knees. He could feel hands ghosting over his shell, could tell they weren’t sure if to touch for comfort or to give him space. “It’s not fair, at all.”

“Oh for- what’s not fair?” April asked, her voice caught between exasperation and worry. “You need to tell us what’s-”

“This! Everything!” Don exclaimed, jerking back up from his fetal position. He wished he had hair so he could rip it out in distress. He almost threw his hands up in the air, but stopped since April and Casey were way too close, as per fucking usual. “The fact that you both want to have a three way relationship, with each other at that, and it wouldn’t include-!” Don bit his tongue, stopping himself there. Too far. Way too far.

“Wouldn’t include _what?”_ Casey asked insistently. “Don’t just cut off there; tell us what it wouldn’t include!”

 _“Me!”_ Don nearly shouted.

Silence hung after his statement, even the stereo pausing its music. Nothing but the sound of falling water, and Don’s panting. Don winced at April and Casey’s shocked expressions, and brought his arms back down to his sides, wrapping his fingers together and gripping them tightly. “It wouldn’t include _me_ , alright? I-I know it wouldn’t. And it’s not fair, because I’ve… I’ve wanted that probably for close to fifteen months now. T-to be romantically involved with you. Both of you.”

Still only silence from the two humans, and Don was considering preforming the physically impossible feat of crawling inside his own shell. Possibly staying there until he died of shame and dehydration.

Don scrubbed a hand over his face, removing the water that’d gathered there from the sprinklers. “Sorry. I know it’s wrong of me, and I shouldn’t have brought it up. I just. I just couldn’t stand hearing that, and not… not saying how I really felt. I’d like it if you could ask Mike to open the doors now, and I’ll just go and die quietly in my bedroom while you guys leave or-”

“Don?” April said.

“What?” Don turned his head towards her, expecting something like pity, maybe disgust.

But April was looking at him with something like wonder, and she reached out and grabbed him by the back of his neck.

“Shut up.”

And then she kissed him.

Don flailed for a moment, but the warm heat of April’s mouth on his pushed all his thoughts to the back of his mind. Softly, gently, April’s lips pressed against his; pushing just hard enough that Don felt something like and electric connection. Like he’d put his finger in a light socket, and swallowed a whole bag of popping rocks. April tasted like the sweet candies she’d been eating when she’d arrived earlier; artificial raspberries mixed with her naturally sweet skin taste.

She pushed against him harder, other hand coming to rest on his shoulder and the one on his neck tightening its grip. Don’s hand drifted to her thigh, and he let her pull him down further; opening his mouth slightly to get a better taste of her lips.

She pushed and pulled and slowly but steadily, Don felt his whole body turn to jelly. The water pouring onto both of them, Don could smell April so much more strongly; the moisture in the air unlocking the full extent of her clean, familiarly enticing scent… but it was mixed with something else… sweat and cologne and leather…

Don jerked away, regretfully breaking contact he half believed he’d been dreaming. “Wait, wait Casey’s right here-”

“Yep, he sure is,” Casey said in an awe filled voice.

Don cautiously turned his head, and found Casey looking at both him _and_ April with bright, keenly interested eyes. Casey grinned lopsidedly, chuckling as he did. “Well. Don’t _stop_ , you were really going at it there.”

April made a soft _“Eep!”_ noise of embarrassment, and Don felt one just like it lodge itself in his throat.

“You… you’re not…?”

“Upset? Um, how could I be? You guys… you guys look really good together,” Casey said, part of his smile fading slightly. “I mean, I’m kinda just happy to sit here. We don’t…”

“…but what if I want to?” Don asked nervously, not wanting to try his luck, but also, being unable to restrain the ‘ _what if?’_ he had on his mind. “I’m mean. Only if _you...”_

“Wanted to?” Casey finished for him.

“Yeah.”

Slowly, Casey leaned forwards. Don didn’t twitch, holding still as the other boy got closer and closer. Finally, Casey’s face was so close; Don could count each water droplet pattering onto Casey’s skin. Then, Casey gently placed his lips against Don’s.

And it felt….

Wrong.

Too soft, too careful. Not… not Casey. It didn’t feel like _Casey._

Don pushed roughly against Casey, looking for the _right_ that came from being harsh with the human. The steady push and pull they had, the correctness of it.

Apparently, Casey caught on quick with this at least, and pushed back with teeth; knocking his bottom ones against Don’s upper ones.

Don’s hands gripped Casey’s shoulders, and Casey’s long fingers snaked around Don’s biceps. Kissing Casey was rough, and sloppy, and correct like that. To be forceful, to tussle at the same time as caress.

Don bit Casey’s lip, tasting salt and sweetness at the same time; Casey’s hands gripping him harder as he did. Don pulled Casey closer, and all but shoved his lips against Casey’s. Something flared to life as Casey shoved right back, something that’d been waiting inside Don’s stomach to _really_ wake up.

Then, because the floor was wet and so were they, and they hadn’t really readjusted their positions since starting this, Don slipped backwards as Casey pushed a little too hard.

Don’s head landed on April’s lap, finding himself pinned by a squirming Casey, and looking up at a bemused and red lipped April.

“Having fun?” April asked lightly.

“Uh,” Don replied intelligently.

“Only if you are, Red,” Casey said, sending a flirtatious eyebrow wiggle her way; still laying on top of Don’s plastron.

April laughed, bright and happy, and with the lights directly above her wet hair, she shone just as. “Yeah, I’m having a lot of fun actually. What about you, Don?”

“…I’m actually fairly certain I’m either dead or dreaming.” Don admitted.

Casey turned his raised eyebrow at Don, switching them around to increase the questioning look. “How come? Seems and feels pretty real-world to me.”

“It’s too cold and wet in here to not be real,” April added, splashing the inch of water for emphasis.

“Well… it’s just…” Don glanced between them both, and for once, he felt like they were really _looking_ at him. Like how he’d wanted them to. “…I didn’t expect this to ever be real? It doesn’t seem like something that’d ever come true for me, not even in my wildest dreams.”

“We’ve time travelled, fought dinosaur aliens, saved the world _three times,_ and you’re having trouble believing we’d want to kiss you?” April asked.

“Yes…?” Don said guiltily. “This isn’t… this isn’t something people do. It’s not normal. Why-”

“Dude, dude you’re a mutant _turtle,”_ Casey said, putting a hand over Don’s mouth. “There is literally nothing normal about you or us or any of this, so why the hell not? Why the hell not just. Make out and junk? I liked doing that, can we keep doing that instead of discussing what’s normal or not? ‘cause I think I’ve said this before, but guys, who wants to live a normal life anyways?”

Don opened, and then closed his mouth. Then he opened it again, and started laughing.

“Oh jeeze, not this again.”

“Don, honey? We break you or something?” April asked, placing a hand over Don’s forehead.

“Oh no, no I’m fine,” Don laughed. “It’s just that I spent so long feeling upset and just. So mad at myself for wanting to do this with you two, and then Casey comes and blows all that out of the water with his offhanded self-confidence enthusiasm endorsement.”

“Um. My what?”

“Shh, means you said something really smart,” April said, starting to giggling herself.

“Oh. Cool. Can we start making out again? I’d kinda like to try kissing you, pretty lady.”

Then Casey did an awful wink and clicking sound with his tongue, and Don and April both lost it.

 

 

 

 

In the end, they didn’t do a ton of making out, but there certainly was some. Trading off between the three of them, tentatively learning one another, but at the same time, trying to make up for months of wanting and denial to themselves.

Mostly, they talked, and sorted out where everyone stood.

“Communication is key,” April warned them, trying to avoid getting too distracted by Casey’s lips on her hand. “If we don’t all tell each other what we’re feeling, or what we want, we’ll end up going through the last year plus all over again.”

“Mmm, wouldn’t want that,” Casey replied absently, too focused on creeping up April’s arm towards her lips again.

“Casey, focus.”

“Oh, I am _so_ focused right now.”

April had sighed with fond exasperation, and let him capture her lips again.

Eventually, Don ended up with April mostly on his lap, and Casey wedged up against them both. All three of them were soaked, and with the dying warmth of making out leaving them, they were starting to get really cold.

But despite that, they sat and kept talking, kept explaining to each other different points of suffering they’d experienced over the other two.

“And there was that one time, at the farm house? Yeah, Don, you were doin’ that one thing that you do with your lip when you’re workin’, and I swear to god, I just about tackled you in the barn right then.”

“I didn’t realize my lips had that much effect on you, Jones.”

“Eh, it was more the concentration thing, and the careful lines you were drawin’ right then on your blue prints. Made me want to disrupt you with, you know, an activity actually worth focusing on. Like me.”

“I can’t believe none of us noticed this for so long.”

“I’m really confused on that too, April. Considering how needy Casey here seems to be-”

“-rude, Don, real rude-”

“-it’s a minor miracle it took this long; plus the assistance of my brother locking us in a room, and pelting us with water and bad romance songs until we figured it out.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t worry; I feel like that a lot around you two.”

“Hmm, you’re a cute idiot.”

“Why _thank you,_ you’re damn cute yourself.”

“Am I cute? I feel like you should be complimenting me, since I’m basically you guys’ chair right now.”

“Very cute, Don, you are _very_ cute.”

“Eh. I’ve seen better. _Ow._ No need to hit me…”

“You deserved it, now apologize to Don.”

“I’ll forgive him, for a price…”

“Oh, well that’s a price I think I can afford to pay…”

 

 

 

 

As they kept talking, among other things, the stereo had begun to repeat its track list.

 

_“….Lay with me, I'll lay with you….We'll do the things that lovers do…. Put the stars in our eyes…”_

 

None of them were listening though.

 

 

 

 

On the other side of the door, Mike sighed contentedly to himself.

Getting up with a long stretch, he wandered over to the couch and flopped down on it. Leo and Raph didn’t turn around to check on him, but Leo did ask him what had happened.

“Oh, everything’s cool now,” Mike said happily.

“They making out and shit?”

“No swearing, Raph, and yes, I’d think so. I mean, there was bumping against the door and stuff, and I think I heard someone moan a lil…”

“Ew! Don’t tell me that stuff!” Raph exclaimed, covering his ear ducts. “It’s bad enough when you’re talkin’ about Leatherhead, don’t start talkin’ about them too!!”

“Hm, guess I’ll keep it to myself then,” Mike conceded, rolling onto his back and smiling at the ceiling.

Finally, the tension would be released, and Mike would be able to flipping _breathe_ in the same room as those three again. Thank god.

He’d go get them in a little while, give them some time to finish doing their thing. Mike felt that was the courteous thing to do, since they were obviously making out for lost time.

Making up. They were making _up_ , for lost time.

Eh. Same difference really.

Mike grinned goofily at the stone ceiling, and silently congratulated his brother on finally getting to be happy.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally you three, only took you three almost-apocalypses to get here.  
> God. Gross cute kids, don't you just love 'em?
> 
> I sure do, they're my favorite gross cute kids.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing my ot3 getting together in this 'verse! Stick around for the epilogue, coming soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don was happy, April was happy, and Casey was happy. And they were happy together, finally, and that made the trauma of everything worth it for Mike.
> 
> Mostly.
> 
> Mostly worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the conclusion of this part of the Age Swap Remix 'verse; stay tuned to the series for the eventual point when I get around to writing the first time for this version of the OT3. 
> 
> I envision something soft and sweet, but knowing these three, it'll likely involve feelings and giggling. Dorks.

 

 

Mike was sort of regretting his decision to finally get his brother together with Casey and April.

Okay, not really, just sorta kinda maybe-ish regretting it.

Because, as it turned out, two years of sexual tension could result in the absolute worst honeymoon phase _ever_.

 

 

 

 

Like during preparation for a family dinner, Mike turned away for _one second_ , and when he’d turned back, April and Don were making out right in the middle of their kitchen; Don’s hand only loosely holding the spatula for the cake frosting, and April in the process of _licking_ some of the said frosting off Don’s lips.

Mike slapped a hand over his eyes, and as an afterthought, over Leo’s as well.

“They’re being really gross,” Leo said calmly to Mike’s right.

 _“_ GUYS WE’RE RIGHT HERE PLEASE STOP,” Mike shouted.

“You have your eyes closed though, so it’s fine,” Don replied, the slight mumble to his words telling Mike _exactly_ what was still happening.

“WE DIDN’T A MOMENT AGO.”

“Why are you shouting, you and Leatherhead do this all the time,” April said in a totally not innocent voice, because her nice-girl façade was completely useless on Mike these days.

“WE REALLY, REALLY DO NOT DO THAT KIND OF THING.”

“You’re all really gross,” Leo commented.

“I JUST WANTED A FAMILY DINNER. GOD.”

 

 

 

 

Or, like when Mike opened the lab doors to bring Don and Casey their dinner, because he was an awesome older brother who remembered to make sure their resident bomb enthusiasts actually ate, and found Casey in an extremely compromising position on top of a lab table, and Don holding him there.

Mike shut his eyes, and fumbled with the tray in his hands. “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING BOMBS NOT DOING _THIS.”_

 He really hadn’t wanted to see his brother and friend furiously making out on a table. Not. At. All.

“Well, Don’s in the process of making _something_ explode at least-”

_“Casey don’t say that to my brother!”_

“I REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR THAT CASEY.”

“Mike, I’m so sorry, I thought I locked the doors-”

“YOU DIDN’T.”

“Erm, obviously. Sorry again.”

“I’M GOING TO LEAVE THE SANDWICHES HERE. DON’T TALK TO ME UNTIL I ERASE THIS FROM MY MEMORY.”

“Aw, Mikester, you’re so sensitive about the weirdest things.”

“Shut up Casey, stop antagonizing my brother.”

“Ha, make me.”

“Is that your only pickup line lately?”

“It works doesn’t it?”

Mike heard suspicious sounds of thumping as he stepped out the doorway.

“Mmmm, I suppose it does…”

 “ _Fuck._ Yeah, right there-”

Mike slammed the lab doors shut, and made sure not to touch that particular table again for at least a week.

 

 

 

 

Or the time Mike went to wake up his brother for evening training, and opened the door to find more than just him in his bed.

They weren’t even on the bed actually, blankets and pillows tossed everywhere around the three partially naked bodies lying on the floor.

Mike pinched the bone between his eyes, sighing deeply. “I didn’t even hear them come in this time.”

“Heeeeeeeeey Mike, we had a day off from school,” Casey said blearily, voice slightly muffled since he was pressing his face into April’s exposed stomach. He was missing his pants and shirt, nothing but briefs, and somehow, his bandanna.

“Oh fuck- hi Mike,” April said sheepishly, thankfully still a little embarrassed about the situation; her cheeks pinking as she pushed herself up from the pile of limbs. At least she had shorts and her bra on still, even if her tousled hair screamed ‘sex’. “We, um, thought Don could use a nice wake up gift?”

“Hmmmmmm, yup, best gift I’ve gotten in years,” Don said in a completely blissed out voice, not even bothering to raise his head to look at Mike; instead remaining curled against Casey’s back, with his face to the human’s neck. “Kinda want another one tomorrow.”

“Got school then, but I could skip,” Casey replied, wrapping an arm around April’s waist and tugging her back down to the carpet/blanket flooring.

“My GPA might suffer a little, but not likely,” April added with a short giggle, her legs tangling back with Casey’s and Don’s.

Don laughed softly, slinging an arm over Casey to grab at April, and pull them all together. “I’d give you guys the spare key, but our door doesn’t have an actual door. But please, come by anyways and give me as many gifts as you want, literally whenever. Please.”

“I’m now seeing Leo and Raphie’s point on you three being disgusting,” Mike said, shaking his head and looking only at the ceiling.

“It’s romantic as _fuck_ Mikester, an’ you know it.”

“ _Shhhhhh,_ calling it out like that ruins it Casey, romcom rules,” April laughed.

“I could tell Sensei about this.”

“Aw, Mike, please don’t do that to me.”

“Don, I love you, but you will be the most _useless_ ninja in existence if you don’t have enough energy to even sit up.”

“No, no I totally have- wait, wait no I don’t.”

Mike sighed very, very deeply.

 

 

 

 

Worst part was their father found it _funny_ why Don wasn’t joining them for training that evening.

“Oh my son, do not think this old rat has been blind to your younger brother’s plight these last few months,” Splinter had laughed. “He has not been very good at hiding it, nor have April or Casey.”

“Uh, and you’re okay with that? Really? With them being, well, a _them_?” Mikey asked hesitantly, because he hadn’t actually been privy to that conversation, and Don hadn’t told him anything about it yet.

“Michelangelo. I am mutant rat, my sons are four mutant turtles, and I’ve somehow ended up with two extra children who are neither of those. Add that my youngest children are time travelers, and that you yourself are in a relationship with a male crocodile, then well…” Splinter chuckled again, sipping his tea peacefully. “Nothing can surprise me any longer. And that is beside the point; Donatello is happy, and that is all I have ever wanted for my children. Be it that they have monogamous relationships, or multiple partners.”

“Oh… you’re really progressive, Sensei,” Mike said, blinking at his father’s calm and warm acceptance of things.

“I adapt as required. Your brother’s choice of romantic interest, excuse me, _interests_ , is hardly the most dramatic change I have ever dealt with. And besides,” Splinter smiled at Mike, mischief dancing in his eyes. “It is fun to tease them about their relationship. I have not had this much fun since Raphael tried his, what did Donatello call it? Ah yes, his _‘emo’_ phase.”

Mike had to agree with his father on that at least.

 

 

 

 

Another time, which was one of the worst, was when Mike opened the back of the shellraiser to get his and Raph’s boards to go skating, and he found Casey and Don doing unspeakable things _again._

With the image of Casey Jones’ naked body burned into his mind, Mike slammed the car door hard as he could, and grabbed Raph as he ran out of the garage.

“Oh _what-_ MIKE! Put me down, what the hell-?!”

“I’M SPARING YOU TRAUMA RIGHT NOW STOP WRIGGLING.” Mike yelled as he hiked Raph onto his shoulder and kept running.

“Put me down! Our stuff is still in there!”

“WE AREN’T GOING IN THERE UNTIL OUR BROTHER USES SANITIZER ON EVERYTHING INSIDE THE SHELLRAISER.”

“Why are you yelling?!”

“I’M TRYING AND FAILING TO BLOCK SOMETHING OUT DON’T DISTRACT ME.”

“Are we going skating tonight??”

“PROBABLY NOT.”

They didn’t get to skateboarding that evening, but Mike did get around to shoving the hose and industrial grade sanitizer into Don’s deeply embarrassed hands.

 

 

 

 

Another completely horrible experience was going and banging on Don’s door in the middle of the day, because there were distinctly feminine noises leaking through the vents into Mike’s room next door. Really disturbing and _sordid_ feminine noises.

 _“You two have exactly five minutes to finish up, or I’m telling on both of you,”_ Mike had whisper-hissed; because as nice as he was, and as mature as he was, it was barely noon and he just wanted to sleep.

Mike went and made himself some tea, grabbing the last of Don’s share of sugar cookies as petty revenge, and found the sleeping block blessedly silent on his return. Thank god.

 

 

 

 

 

Study sessions were not for studying anymore, that much was clear from Don’s neck bruises after visits to April’s apartment.

The crazy amount of hickeys all over Casey in general, easily identifiable among his usual bruises, made it pretty obvious that he and Don did _not_ go out for just patrol together anymore.

April and Don spent a _lot_ of one on one spar time together, which meant everyone else left the lair as fast as they could after the screen doors shut. Even master Splinter. _Especially_ master Splinter.

Mike didn’t even want to know what April and Casey got up to during the day. He knew enough of what they did at night with Don, and that was all he needed to know.

That was unfortunately _not_ all he ended up knowing.

 

 

 

 

 

The worst, the _hands down worst_ , moment out of all the honeymoon situations he witnessed, Mike would have to say it was the night he went out to the movies with Leo and Raph.

They forgot the money for tickets, which was the first mistake he made.

The second was tromping back into the lair, without checking the situation before he entered. Dressed in his human disguise and totally occupied mentally speaking; too intent on finding the money to remember Don had stayed home with April and Casey.

Mike flipped the light switch as he entered, hitting the button on the pillar that would activate every light in the living room/media pit area.

That was his third and most devastating mistake.

Mike had a solid moment of frozen shock to take in the sight of:

Casey without pants _or_ briefs-

-April’s bra having gone A-WOL, ditto for her shorts-

-Don with his metaphorical pants down-

-and all three of them tangled into something that would absolutely haunt Mike until the day he died.

Mike slapped both his glove covered hands over his eyes, and turned away from the pit. “DON WHAT THE FUCK-?!”

“Shit. _SHIT._ Mike, Mike ohmygod, we thought- you guys left like a whole twenty minutes ago-”

“ _WE FORGOT THE MONEY!!”_

“-Mike I’m so sorry, oh god _, Casey where’s my shirt_ , Jesus _Christ-_ ”

“-aw fuck, Mikester, dude, fuck fuck fuck-”

“WHY THE COUCH, DON?! WHY THE COUCH AND MY BEAN BAG?!”

“Mike, what’s happening?” Leo’s voice asked. Then he and Raph started screaming.

Mike uncovered his eyes, and without looking back, scrambled for the turnstiles where his youngest brothers were standing. He slapped his hands over bother their eyes, and turned around, and then turned _back_ around, because _no one had clothes on still._

“-fuck, RAPH, LEO, DON’T LOOK!!” Casey hollered.

“TOO LATE TOO LATE TOO LATE-!” Raph screeched, adding his own hands to Mike’s. “-I HATE ALL OF YOU YOU’RE _SO GROSS!!”_

“ _Casey where is my fricking shirt?!”_

“Oh god, GUYS I’M SO SORRY-!”

“DON YOU ARE OFFICIALLY BANNED FROM SKIPPING FAMILY OUTINGS FOR THE NEXT FOREVER _AND YOU’RE GETTING ME A NEW BEAN BAG CHAIR!!”_

_“-my shit- I mean shirt, CASEY WHERE DID YOU PUT MY SHIRT-?!”_

_“I think- fuck, it’s like all the way over there-”_

“-I THOUGHT NO ONE WAS GOING TO BE HOME FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER TWO HOURS-”

“YOU HAVE A ROOM! _WHY DIDN’T YOU USE YOUR ROOM?!”_

“MY BED IS TOO SMALL, OKAY-??”

_“What did you do with my shirt Casey?!”_

_“I don’t know- it was right there I swear!!”_

“ALL OF YOU ARE HORRIBLE AND DISGUSTING AND I’M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYES AGAIN!!”

“Why can’t this not be a thing,” Leo said in a disappointed tone.

At least their father didn’t come home early.

 

 

 

 

“Hey Don?” Mike asked the next evening, following the fifth most traumatic thing he’d ever witnessed.

“Yeah Mike?” Do replied, sipping his Grande sized coffee; a gift from his still sheepish partners.

“If you and your partners could stop making out on every surface possible, that’d be great, thanks.” Mike said, dumping a box of condoms out on the lab table as he did. “Also, use these next time, for the love of god. We don’t need April getting pregnant or anyone getting AIDS or some shit.”

Don choked on his coffee, and almost dropped the cup.

 

 

 

 

“Wait.” Mike said, weeks and weeks after the honeymoon phase had ended, and turned into gross married stuff. “Wait wait wait- how much of that was on purpose? Because I remember you saying something after I let you guys out of the lab, that you were gonna-”

“-have my revenge?” Don finished, raising an eye ridge at Mike across the breakfast table.

“Yeah. That.”

“…only about fifty three point nine, nine, nine percent of it.”

“ _Ew,_ Don, how could you?”

“You forced me to undertake an extremely stressful venture that could have possibly broken my heart irreparably, and then grinned at me like you’d given me the best gift of my life.”

“But didn’t I?”

“Yes, but that didn’t mean you were allowed to get off scot free.”

“Please tell me the living room incident _wasn’t_ planned.”

“Okay, definitely not that one. I’m really, really sorry about that.”

“Better be. Raphie and Leo _still_ won’t sit on the couch.”

“At least you all got new bean bags…?”

“You’re still banned from skipping family outings, giving me puppy dog eyes changes nothing.”

“Worth a shot.”

 

 

 

 

 

Don was happy, April was happy, and Casey was happy. And they were happy _together_ , finally, and that made the trauma of everything worth it for Mike.

Mostly.

Mostly worth it.

They still owed him, Raph, and Leo a _lot_ of favors for not tattling on them for the living room incident.

But… Mike was disinclined from bringing that up; watching Don flip through some of his lab notes on the freshly cleaned couch, with April leaning against him on one side with her calculus homework in her lap, and Casey peacefully dozing away on the other. It was tooth rottingly sweet, and utterly domestic.

Mike wouldn’t have it any other way for them.

He shook his head, and returned to his own reading; comfortable in his brand new bean bag chair, while Raph and Leo played a quiet puzzle game on the television. Their father sitting on the couch with his own novel completed the scene, and honestly, Mike didn’t think he could imagine something better than this.

…maybe the addition of Leatherhead, but that could wait until later.

For now though, this was perfect.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Mike, he deals with so much.  
> Raph and Leo are scarred, but at least Casey threw a blanket over him and April before they saw the private parts of their human friends.
> 
> My version of Splinter here is super chill honestly; nothing can even phase him anymore, too much weirdness has desensitized him completely. Go rat dad for being father of the year.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the conclusion to this fic, I stayed up late after my work shift to write it out for ya'll, because you're all super patient and supportive, and I love you all for reading this thing.
> 
> Check out the following fic for this, which is the main-timeline kids getting together, and watch out for whenever I post another ASR fanfic; I'm thinking about one post-crossover, where Leo gets a weapon upgrade. Details to come.
> 
> (*´∀`*) Thank you to everyone who commented and kudoed, it was a fun ride! See you next time!
> 
> *edit/update the next morning*: TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT IT WAS FIVE AM SO.  
> Canonically, in the 2012 comics, Mikey has managed to convince Raph to dress up in human disguises with him, and go to the movies; and no one noticed that they weren't human. Somehow.  
> If anyone else reads those comics, you may know what I'm referencing; they were pretty cute, wearing their absolutely and totally clashing skirts+shirts+toques+wigs combinations. If not, don't worry, I'm sure your imagination is sufficient.

**Author's Note:**

> April is thirsty, so thirsty.
> 
> Its Casey's turn next to be thirsty, I can't wait.


End file.
